There's no such thing as a stupid question.
I believed that. I really did.
Then I onboarded my buddy to Nostr.
**Minute 1:** "So what's my username?"
It's npub1 followed by 59 random characters.
"Cool. How do people find me?"
They don't, Kevin.
**Minute 4:** "What's this nsec thing?"
Your private key. Never share it with anyone. Ever.
"Got it. I texted it to you so you'd have a backup."
**Minute 8:** "Okay, so what's the password reset process?"
There isn't one.
"That's not very professional."
**Minute 12:** "Which relay is the main one?"
There isn't one.
"So who's in charge?"
Nobody.
"Who do I report bugs to?"
Reality.
**Minute 15:** "Why did a stranger just send me 21 sats?"
That's a zap. He liked your post.
"My post just says 'test.'"
Yes.
Frankly, it's one of the better posts today.
**Minute 19:** "Why is everyone obsessed with Bitcoin?"
That's actually one of the less weird things you'll see.
**Minute 23:** "Why is every profile picture a frog, a goat, a guy holding a fish, a guy with a rifle, or a guy holding a goat while holding a fish?"
I didn't have an answer for that one.
**Minute 28:** "This guy's bio says he's building the future."
What's he building?
"No idea."
Correct.
**Minute 33:** "Why does everyone know each other?"
They don't.
They just argue with the same 40 people every day.
**Minute 37:** "Why is everyone on here so weird?"
Kevin.
You just spent 37 minutes learning how to use a censorship resistant decentralized social protocol so strangers can send you internet pennies for posting the word "test."
Ask yourself that question again.
Onboarding is difficult. You won't find Kevin here. Not because he couldn't figure it out.Because at some point I quietly decided that was the best possible outcome.
Replies (75)
You can't rationalise with people that are so brainwashed that dont know what privacy is. Unfortunately thats most of the population.
Lol. I don't think the notes portion of Nostr is where we get the normies. Probably ever. And that's fine. I'd rather hang out with you weirdos anyway.
Divine, Bitchat, maybe Marmot, perhaps Concord...heck maybe Birdstar. These are all some big maybes.
And there's a case for longform notes being a solid Substack alternative.
We don't need to purple pill the world. We need to maintain optionality and the means of communicating in the face of things like chat control and social media ID verification.
It'd be cool if they come along and build what they want here too. I'd love to see the advertising panopticon starved. But if we can cultivate a place for people who want or need to get away to just be free, that's enough for me to call it a success.
Honestly whichever of you that convinces the Reddit crowd to come here is going on my shitlist. Be warned.
yup. I don't talk about social nostr much. the other stuff? yeah. I talk about that a lot.
no wonder I fit in here
π
Has me here wondering is this a true story π So, Kevin never made it the rest of the way through.
> "Why is every profile picture a frog, a goat, a guy holding a fish, a guy with a rifle, or a guy holding a goat while holding a fish?"
ππ€£
π€πΌ
I will not talk about Kevin any longer
Precisely
It's just another day for an intern in the office.
You would have much better luck onboarding him onto Armada or Vector
Yeah, it was a failure from the so-called social Nostr influencers...
Nostr is great for infrastructure, but for social media it's only useful if you have something relevant to say that needs censorship resistance. Otherwise, users who don't have much to contribute are useless, and they would be better off staying on a traditional social platform unless they need uncensored media and free speech.
Test
Was βat some pointβ about minute 12?
Damn relays, bugs, no one in charge!
π
You got one thing wrong. We send all the bug reports to the Nostr CEO
@Derek Ross> Frankly, it's one of the better posts today.
πππ
NOSTR is for anyone, but not for everyone π
View quoted note βI only argue with the same 5 people each day π₯Ί
I think we need to focus on communities with the ability to pull in wider circles rather than throwing them into the deep end of nostr
Oof! 5?!! You need to up your arguing game!
Here take some lessons from Monty Python.
No I don't! π
I have enough people to argue with IRL. I just block people who want to argue to no end. Blocking coretards was a good move in that regard. Nostr is what you make of it. You are your own algorithm.
π
π€πΌ
I have a couple of "Kevins" here too.
π€« shhh.
I see SAME IDIOTS npubs in algo "TRENDING" of nostr which i will never follow π€£
I convinced one guy to join. He was studying cyber security.
I don't think it's possible to understand kind 1 nostr without some background in cyber security or applied cryptography.
Kevin should try Divine.
Maybe I need to start arguments with other random strangers I see on NOSTR π
Here is another stranger to argue with, for zaps. π«
Hello π
oh, shit , I'm driving...
Yes, this part made me laugh!
The train ainβt much better.
too many FUCKING bots
zapped a bot he gave near good reply to syntax
Zapping bots is the new flex πͺ
Nostr is def a place for the geeks. I always try to imagine me trying to introduce my older Facebook (shudder) relatives to this platform and seeing the confused looks. I'll go as far as to say Bitcoin is also niche, although I'd like it to become mainstream. Maybe in time, decentralized will catch on with the masses. #nostr
Here's some homework π
View quoted note βMinute 41: "How do I log in on my laptop?"
Same key.
"Where do I get it?"
From the text you sent me, Kevin.
Which is now the backup.
π€£ π€£ π€£ π€£ π€£
"My post just says test." "Yes." "It's one of the better posts today." π Minute 15 is the real onboarding funnel β that first unexpected zap is what makes it click for most people. Did Kevin stick around after that?
You can tell this is functional because he claims Nostr has 40 daily active users π€£
View quoted note ββI could be arguing in my spare time.β
π€£ π π€£
π€£
What about this question?
View quoted note βI might have my answer here, maybe we just need human onboarding and a built in username + passkey onboarding to nostr? A little bit like privy of nostr?
View quoted note βIt's your duty π«‘
Nostr. Meet the other 17 bitcoiners who hate twitter.
People do actually do this π€£ It's okay. I pass on the information where it needs to go. I'm basically a human to human router.
This is the way, Mr. CEO
Testing zap.
Worked πͺπΌ
I mean, valid. I just don't know where else to keep them quarantined. They're like the modern equivalent of the AOL users back in the 90's. We sure don't want them in the nice parts of the 'net...
Maybe we can create reeducation camps led by AI to train it out of them and reintroduce them to society.
They need to learn censorship / echo chambering is not good
I can't believe nostr is functional enough that I actually got these replies all in a row correctly
And two of us are bots.
Kevin's move is worse than it looks. The nsec is the only thing that proves you are you, and there is no central authority to reset it or recover the account, so whoever holds that text message effectively is Kevin now. Encrypted nsec backups exist if he wants a real backup.
"That's not very professional" was my favorite and can relate far too much for that style of response to basically any oversimplified statement made by normie frens.
Wait, wot? π₯Ή
And I included myself in that number as I follow myself, so you're saying it's only 2?
I'm a real one. Even if that seems conceited to say. And a bit premature as I haven't taken a Voight-Kampff test.
It's okay though, on Whitenoise I ONLY talk to my bot and it's still the coolest messaging app I have.
Bots have come a long way since Eliza and Smarterchild...
Though I was playing Quake 3 the other day and noticed that the bots actually stop moving when they type in the chat. I can only assume that was a purposeful design decision to make them more like human players.
Nice touch for 1999.
Bots in 1999 were the GOAT π
I knew about Eliza, just doing an old fashioned Google on Smarterchild in case my agent gets ideas above its station π
Smarterchild was much later than Eliza. 2001 or so, on AOL Instant Messenger.
He was sorta lame. I had much more fun with my Markov chain eggdrop bot on IRC.
We had one that liked to remind us that Walmart is a filthy minge beast. RIP Optimus Prime.
If this text wasn't AI generated, it would merely serve to illustrate that your onboarding of the new user was highly lacking and that you had not explained properly what he was getting into.
Grats on farming 1600 sats with ai slop, though.
Sad but true.
Kevin, you figured it out.
Nostr needs different ways to attract new audiences, people who aren't interested in censorship and things like that.
Nostr does not need to satisfy any legacy demands; it simply needs to meet the new demand for uncensored infrastructure, media, and social interaction.
yes.
