Marriage and family is essential for a full and happy life. You don’t want to end up like this person. image

Replies (85)

Dan's avatar
Dan 1 month ago
They can Have fun exiting the gene pool
Constantin's avatar
Constantin 1 month ago
Man... We all pay for our choices. And the later we pay, the bigger the price.
WildBill's avatar
WildBill 1 month ago
You can prioritize yourself or you can die to yourself and make your life not about you. One is easy and will feel good when you’re young. One is incredibly hard, but will leave you fulfilled. Those that think their life is an accident, meaningless, and created from a large bang out of fast spinning nothing often make life about themselves. Those that think they were intentionally created, out of an abundance of love, with a beautiful purpose, often die to themselves.
Sad indeed. The reality is this is just a tip of the iceberg of what’s coming given that Millenials have been the generation that has been harder hit by the nihilism Psyop than previous generations and unfortunately we will be seeing more of these in the future. We can definitely save a few from this trap, but by and large the seeds have already been down. Buckle up.
The key sentence summarizing this mindset is: “I must have thought that by 50 something magical would have happened” It’s literally magical thinking
pv's avatar
pv 1 month ago
As a married father, I do think that marriage and family can be one of the simplest paths to a full and happy life — what you give is what you receive, and giving comes most naturally to your wife and children. That said, there are probably many ways for people to live full and happy lives, each finding meaning in their own way.
Man that was heart crushing to read. I absolutely see your point, but I'm not sure I'd call marriage and family essential for happiness. In fact, I know this isn't universally true. That claim implies that anyone who doesn't have kids is doomed to a miserable life. As I see it, happiness without family is an uphill battle in many ways, but certainly not an absolute loss. Creativity, passion, and purpose are essential. Those can manifest differently for everyone. Unfortunately this poor guy sounds like a sad sap on many levels, not just the family front 😂
Alvaro's avatar
Alvaro 1 month ago
It’s astounding how high time preference people have. We’re on our way to having the fifth kid in six years and when people say “wow, that’s crazy”, my answer is “No, having just one or two kids who are years apart is crazier”
Don’t take things out of context. Literally the verse before says: “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭6‬ ‭ And also the context is that a single person can devote themselves fully to the work of God. So you can only apply verse 7 to faithful Christian’s who see that as a single person they can fully devote themselves to ministry without having to care for a family. Very few are called to do that it seems.
I used to plan having a big party with lots of friends when I turned a certain round number. Then, when I reached that age, I decided I'd rather spend the day with my wife and child! With did so on vacation in the woods. Still cherish that day!
Women are always feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, she squandered her youth on the hateful feminist lie. The "big 50th" birthday party is for people who had kids young, are married, and aren't reclusive. Even for them, it's really just extended family's excuse for people to get drunk and free food. Today's world where everyone is broke and communities are destroyed by multiculturalism, there is little room to have an "over the hill" party.
No, this woman had to have rejected a lot of men. There are 6% more men in the world than women and basically women only have to be non- openly hostile towards men, and somebody will be very happy to spend their life with her with or without children. Had Gen X faced a time of war like the silent generation or the greatest generation where 6% to 8% of the men didn’t make it to their 25th birthday and the odds were even there would be a lot of women that did have to go barren and unmarried
Benking's avatar
Benking 1 month ago
Build a strong family, save in strong money. That’s how legacy is made. 🧡
I’ve lived a life fueled by imagination and passion for what I create, but even the greatest work feels small beside the joy of having a family. That is the deeper truth.
R's avatar
R 1 month ago
💯. People who are generous seem to be the happiest. A family defaults you to generosity.
LightningBuck's avatar
LightningBuck 1 month ago
Seriously, how do you end up still having to work12 hours days at 50 Years old if you had no children to spend your money on? She obviously didn't spend it on friends and it doesn't seem like she does her job out of passion.
Still asking 'what's the point of meeting anybody?' even at this point... I think I see how this person ended up so alone. Life isn't about arbitrary dates on the calendar or other hashtag moments. It's about every minute we're granted on the right side of the daisies, and having people to share it with is one of the many blessings we can be afforded.
BTC-Satan's avatar
BTC-Satan 1 month ago
My sons are the only human beings I like.
Alvaro's avatar
Alvaro 1 month ago
That’s amazing! Congrats to you both. Greater ROI than Bitcoin itself
Josh in FL's avatar
Josh in FL 1 month ago
Reading that hurt my soul a little. The lies run so deep, but fortunately they are being revealed. I live for moments like this with my wife and son, with another on the way. image
Lordie's avatar
Lordie 1 month ago
This man agrees with you , he’s just stating he wasn’t fortunate to have it happen for him image
Exactly. Paul wasn’t giving lifestyle advice. He was dismantling the lie that fulfillment comes from marriage, status, or bloodline. The irony: this person may not even be a follower of the Way, yet the evangelical church in the U.S. has absorbed a secular theology that treats marriage as salvation. That’s the Pioneer Fund’s legacy — race science rebranded as “family order,” preached as Gospel. Paul’s message was the opposite: identity in Christ, not reproduction or heritage. The church stopped preaching resurrection and started preaching lineage.
I'm convinced that feminism is a feline conspiracy to ensure comfortable lives for cats everywhere on the backs of lonely older women.
I think it's encoded in our biology given that we are social animals. Contemporary extreme individualism is a cult.
That one hurts man. We have to reach for the things we want in life. It don’t come for free, and certainly not by itself
I read it as writen by woman. But to be fair it is ambiguous. Which as a reflection of the modern world, its own problem...
I 100% agree with you. I misunderstood your point originally. Family is incredibly fulfilling but only Jesus provides lasting and eternal fulfillment.
One of my grandfathers had 9 kids, all of which had kids besides one who was a junkie. He ended up dying with over 30 grandkids. If he ever needed anything, it was provided for him by his family, he didn't have much to give away for inheritance (was poor and dyslexic his whole life) but always joked about cutting you out of the will (I got a robe) but he was a beloved man and we cherish the videos and pictures we have of him to this day and he is always a topic of conversation and one of my twins has his name as his middle name. My other grandfather had 3 kids. Luckily he still passed with 12 grandkids. He was a mean man and lived alone after my grandma passed, when he needed to be taken care of, I was the only person willing to do it for the sake of I hope my grandkids would do the same for me if it means keeping me out of a home. He had lots to give in inheritance and the grandkids got none of it and his children sold most of it off. Whole we remember his wife and brothers fondly, he is remembered as a crotchety man. Its not about simply having kids and a family but recognizing that that is the point of life and putting relationships first, no matter how poor you are.
You need to be in the right marriage. That will make all the difference. Being married to the wrong person will make you wish you were dead some days.
Prisoner24601's avatar
Prisoner24601 1 month ago
Its their comments about waiting and expecting something magical to happen.. like they see life as happening TO THEM, so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their own choices.
zerkalo's avatar
zerkalo 1 month ago
Indeed. It's the love and purpose of good relationships that matter, not marriage in itself. It can happen within that framework but that doesn't mean everyone will find it that way - or that it will last. Speaking from bitter experience here. But I'm also a bit older, seems like most posts celebrating marriage unconditionally come from milennials who are just getting started with family life and thus have a more rose tinted view than this old heathen.
dagwood's avatar
dagwood 1 month ago
Families are proof of work,they dont just happen. Life isnt woke. not everyone wins a prize for paticipation.
Johannes's avatar
Johannes 1 month ago
That is heartbreaking. Praying she finds Hope.
I agree. Having both a husband and a baby, my life is way fuller and happier than when I was single.
This seems accurate. I grew up with cats, and the only way I could get away was to leave them with my mom (although she's still married, she was their primary caregiver, as my dad didn't care for them 🤣)
vezire's avatar
vezire 1 month ago
I’ve never had a long term relationship and I’ve never felt lonely when I was on my own. I’ve had relationships but they were never what defined me. I value companionship but it’s not the ultimate goal of my life. What truly matters to me is creating something that inspires others. I want to learn, explore, and dream. I see that many people on nostr seem to believe the nuclear family is the highest value but it's not an absolute salvation for many. As long as I stay true to my own values, I don’t think I’ll ever feel lonely. View quoted note →
ziggie's avatar
ziggie 1 month ago
It's ok to be not confident with their life, now the person needs to get up at start trying
Trivium's avatar
Trivium 1 month ago
This a very underrated statement. My wife and I were always ride or die (h/t and happy anniversary @ODELL). Too many couples give up at too soon. "No fault divorce" made it worse. The welfare state that seperated family stability from financial security was another erosion. Making everyone believe you have a "right" to be happy (without work) was the final break with reality. Wife and I are 29 years in and going strong...Just a bit slower 🤣. Lower your time preference. If you can wake up next to someone you've shared the majority of you life with, its a great day! KIDS MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.
By no means is marriage or family essential for a full and happy life. That claim is broad brush, one size fits all, bullshit, devoid of nuance. Marriage and family is a massive dice roll. While marriage and family CAN be a source of great fulfillment in life, these relationships can also inject chaos into people's lives, often to the point of ruining the lives of those involved to varying degrees. It's worth pointing out that Buddha left his wife and son. Likewise, Christ told people to give up everything they have and follow him...same thing. He was saying you gotta give it all up including relationships, not just possessions or monetary wealth. You even have to give up the concept of "you". The 50 year old in the post you shared is attached to certain things and that's why they are suffering. Keeping up with the Joneses is not giving up everything you have. It's chasing everything you don't have. If the grass is always greener, the answer is to burn the picket fence.
Something interesting happens around 50 (I just turned 53). You start asking yourself, "Did I do it? Did I pull it off?" This is a reflection not only of accomplishment but of meaning, purpose, and genuine connection to others. Before 50, you don't ask that question because you're still building. But at 50, the question shows up. A "yes" answer provides a deep sense of contentment and gratitude. We're not done building, but going forward is with wisdom, grace, and fortitude without stress. A "no" answer results in the pull to a mid-life crisis as the realization that it's too late sets in. These people are plagued with memories of missed opportunities. They scramble through their days with a diminishing sense of self. For me, marriage and family is also essential and I thank God my answer is, "YES!"
I believe she's been realizing this from her 30s but wouldn't admit it until now that she hits 50, which is even beyond the point of no return.
Notice how the lady also has no friends or community. Marriage and children are not the only road to these things nor does having a husband or kids make everyone happy. There is no magic recipe for a full and happy life.
One size fits all broad brush statements are pure nonsense. I agree. You're trying to be the Joneses so that people will chase what you have. That makes you feel better about what you have. You're pumping your bags in a validation Ponzi scheme. Remember, one man collects what another man discards.
I didn't make the claim that Christ's call negated the normativity of marriage. Also, no Christ absolutely did not design or institute marriage. Don't talk to me about Christ until you can explain Matthew 10:16 and Genesis 3 without looking anything up.
I told you, I'll care about your interpretation of the Bible when you can explain Matthew 10:16 and Genesis 3 without looking anything up. You don't know how to explain most of the Bible. You think you do. You don't know what language Jesus spoke with his dying words. You think you do. You don't understand why there are huge chapters of Christ's life missing from the Bible. You don't try to find answers. You claim to love your neighbor as yourself but if your neighbors express reverence for the Creator using ways and words with which you are unfamiliar, you treat them as "less than" and wash your hands of their ways and words with unloving remarks like "devil worshippers" or "demonic" even though you know not the first thing about what they believe. You don't understand most of it. You think you do. Most people don't understand how Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek applies to religion. The game most people play is divisive and tribalistic...us vs the world. How loving. I won't play that game. I will study every tradition. I will actually love my neighbors and learn their ways and words in good faith. They feel loved when someone shows an interest in them. Most people do. That's probably why it's the Golden Rule. You probably think the Golden Rule is Christian. It's not. It's in every religion. You wanna know why it's in every religion? Because humans suck at doing it. If we were great at it, we wouldn't need every religion on the planet trying to teach it to us. So, as far as I can tell, divisive dogmatistic Christians don't get it. Neither do divisive dogmatistic Jews or divisive dogmatistic Muslims or divisive dogmatistic anyone. You can't be divisive and dogmatistic and love your neighbors as your self. You value having the freedom to do what you see fit. SO DO THEY. HODL is full of shit with this one size fits all broad brush influencer validation ponzi scheme. What's good for some is not necessarily good for all and it is a logical fallacy to suggest otherwise.
mrs ah's avatar
mrs ah 1 month ago
It’s not bad they’ll be besties
You're right, I'm making assumptions about what you know and don't know. To be fair, I'm also a profiler and you give me clues as to who you are and what you know based on the way you engage with me. Prove me wrong. I won't hold my breath.
Debate could go well but it would be a marathon debate, meaning each of our "opening salvos" would have something like an 16 hour time limit on it. Here's my reasoning: I'm currently revising my presentation notes which contain the perspective that my research has distilled. I've done podcasts before where I'm predominantly reading from my notes because there's too much that warrants being covered and I have to keep it all organized so writing it down and reading from the notes is the best way to deliver the research. I can deliver about 8 pages per hour. I'm currently working on page 88 of those notes and I have more to go. If I'm only allowed 5 minutes per round and then you're responding, I'll never be able to actually "cook" and let you sample it. Bear in mind, I grew up Roman Catholic and went to Catholic schools the entire time I was in school. I didn't just get Sunday masses. I had class masses and all school masses. We did all of it. I'm well versed in it. Based on your interactions, it's safe to assume you are some denomination of Christian, however I am not certain what denomination you identify with. Based on your username, you seem to have an interest in Latin which suggests you might be a Roman Catholic yourself. If so, while I will grant you the same 16 hours you grant me, I've heard it all already so your message will be highly redundant for me. I wouldn't expect to hear much new from you but I'd listen because you will probably teach me a thing or two. People usually do. On the other hand, if you listen to me present for 16 hours, you're going to feel like you just drank from a firehose that sprays red pills that you'll never be able to unlearn. I'm down for the marathon debate but the structure would have to be suitable given the magnitude of the scope of the subject being debated. If we don't do it before New Years, nudge me then. Hopefully I'll have been able to finish my notes by well before then. I'm most of the way through the rewrite. Right now I'm working on explaining why the baptism of the Holy Spirit is said to be "fiery". After that I'll be explaining the origins of baptism (Spoiler: John the Baptist is not the originator of the practice of baptism...not even close...that's laughable.)
Sounds like he’s been waiting for something to happen all his life. Should of climbed into the front seat & started driving rather than being a passenger. Sad.
It’s fascinating how people’s responses often expose more about their insecurities than the topic itself.
Andrew's avatar
Andrew 1 month ago
Sheesh, this reads just like how my best mate texts.
That's what I thought. This is an extremely complicated and deep subject. Text messages on NOSTR are definitely not the place for such a debate. Text based media would be one of the least efficient ways to get at cosmic truth that I could imagine. There's way too much that warrants being covered. If you're going to do something, do it right...debating this on NOSTR is half ass.
She still doesn’t get… rambling on reddit won’t solve her loneliness. She works in a restaurant I guess, usually the easiest environment to get in touch with new people and she’s still too egotistical and hopes for miracles. Like the meme that the drowning person sends away boat after boat in hope for god to save them