I knew I was going to love being a dad. After all, everyone and their mother (literally) tells you how much you're going to love it once your wife gets pregnant. You hear more cliches about fatherhood than you ever knew existed. You hear, time and time again, that "you won't REALLY understand until you hold your child for the first time."
After a while you think "yeah... okay... I get it already."
But you don't. Not at all. You can't possibly know. It is quite literally impossible to understand until that moment. You *think* you know. You *think* you understand how it will change you. But you have no idea.
Becoming a father is a singular moment in which your entire world changes. A light switch flips on, then that light switch is ripped out of the wall. You can't turn it off. Ever.
Every cliche is true. Everyone who told you "you won't REALLY understand until you hold your child for the first time" was right. They were so right... They were more right than you could have possibly imagined.
Everything changes. It changes in ways you cannot possibly understand until you are in that singular moment.
Sure, any logical person with an IQ above 100 can imagine the *logistical* ways in which your life will change (but even then we mostly underestimate). But absolutely no one can understand the feeling of becoming a father until you actually become one.
Becoming a father made me want to be a better man. To become the man I am supposed to be. The best man I can be. The man I need to be. The man I am meant to become. In fact, it necessitates that I do so. I have no other option. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Becoming a father made me want to be a better husband as well. For my amazing wife, of course, but also so my son will be able to look to me and see an example of what a good husband should be.
Becoming a father also made me truly understand time preference. I thought I understood time preference before, but I didn't. My understanding was purely academic. It was theoretical. A philosophical exercise at best.
Sure, I could talk about "thinking in generations," but the moment next generation of my blood actually stood before me, I realized I didn't understand true long-term thinking at all before. In that moment, I finally did. I will die. So will you. So will everyone. What legacy will we leave for our children? What world will they inherit? How will we make it a better one than the world that was left to us?
It's a Saturday night and I'm rambling. But I felt the need to write this. I had a great day with my son and wife. Any day I spend with them is a great day, but some days the totality of being washes over you more than others.
I love being a dad. I know it may not be for everyone and that's okay. It's for me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Replies (65)
Beautiful words. But here's the uncomfortable truth: most people projecting 'generational thinking' are just projecting their own mortality anxiety onto their kids. The REAL test isn't wanting to leave a legacy - it's whether you'll still be a good father when your son is 25 and you're 55 and he's 'disappointed' in you. The postpartum glow wears off. The real work begins when the novelty dies.
But hey, maybe you'll be different. 🙏⚡️ orbit@
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This made me emotional to read. It was like looking in a mirror. Can relate to every word. Thank you.
Glad my Saturday night ramblings resonated, dad to dad. 🫂
Love this 🥰
“Any day I spend with them is a great day, but some days the totality of being washes over you more than others.”
Have lots of kids
View quoted note →I felt this to my core. I’m a father of 2 and one on the way. I grew up without a dad and so fatherhood was super scary for me at first but it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. It actually been healing for me. Thanks for taking the time to share this.
Just read this on the plane coming back from a vasectomy reversal.
Not kidding.
thanks for taking the time to articulate this
Children are the only real NFT.
Anyone who convinces you to skip having children has murdered you, just not right now.
Kids make life worth living
Just wait til you have a 2nd! Being a Dad gets even better.
Idk if it makes sense but it made sense when i typed it.
I can’t wait.
That light switch is also connected to the dad joke part of our brain.
Reminded me of my favorite CS Lewis quote “the present is the point at which time touches eternity”
the simplest moments with my kids can feel like everything.
Facts. I thought I carry my princess on my shoulders while she is actually carrying me on hers 🫂
Congrats on your third on the way! Your kids are lucky to have you. Wishing you and your family nothing but the best.
🫂
It was just a stream of consciousness. I think I was just feeling extremely grateful and needed to express it. Glad it resonated.
NFT: Non Fungible Toddler?
Amen to that. I know there are plenty of people out there who don’t have kids for a variety of reasons, many outside of their control, and I respect that. Everyone is different and everyone’s circumstances are different. But for me, I couldn’t imagine life without our son and I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to be a father.
Damn CS Lewis said it way better than I ever could. Beautiful.
Yes… so much yes.
But the funny thing is, after a little while, you can't remember what life was like before you were a father. It truly is a life changer.
I'm only wishing both my sons were fathers, but, into their 40s now, and both single and not looking to be fathers.. That's life.
That's beautiful. And thank you, for sharing.
💜💜💜
It's you're new life. You're not the same person anymore. You're Dad now. Glad you're loving it!
Nobody will tell you how much they hate being a parent despite it happening all the time.
View quoted note →Cool story. Tell it to the African women popping out their 9th
Well, they’re women, so they can’t be dads…
They change quickly, savour each moment
Wholesome #siamstr
View quoted note →"Your children are not your children."
#quotestr #khalilgibran #momstr #dadstr #reincarnation #godstr
Love us our greatest force, ultimately wondrous to live it & pass it on.
That’s a great book. Thanks for posting this.
"I wouldn't trade it for the world" ... after I read to the end I couldn't stop my tears (due to overwhelming emotions of joy and connectedness). That resonated so deeply! I would also not even consider thinking about trading the fact that I am father of my beautiful daughter for anything imaginable. Many thanks for your words. You must be a very good father. Greatings from Europe and all the best!
I won 2 billion in lottery, im helping random people text me if your needy.
Fatherhood is the moment theory dies and responsibility becomes real. Nothing else rewires time, purpose, and priority like holding your child for the first time.
So relatable ❣️
I really appreciate how you describe that moment. Reading this actually reminded me of an idea from The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins, that many of our deepest emotions, including parental love, can be understood as evolutionary mechanisms designed to ensure the survival and propagation of our genes.
In that sense, it’s fascinating to think that the overwhelming transformation you’re describing might also be biology doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. That doesn’t make it any less real or powerful, if anything, it makes it even more remarkable that something so deeply meaningful is also wired into us at such a fundamental level.
He's right.
My life changed forever when I became a father.
I recommend becoming a husband and father.
It's a different world.
When you experience being a dad, then you'll have a deeper understanding of the heart of God towards you.
View quoted note →Congratulations again! 🫂🫂🫂
It allows you to realize things about yourself that you hadn't previously thought possible. It is something I hope to see in others. It is such a blessing!
💯 % agree with you. But Walker, those feelings are amplified even more if you are blessed with a grandchild. Having and enjoying grandchildren is just the best experience of my life. I feel truly blessed. Enjoy every moment as a father but brace yourself for the ultimate gift of becoming a grandfather.
I had my first in 2018, a boy.
My second in 2020, a girl.
Took on a fosterchild in 2025, a boy.
I now love all children. Everytime i see one in a store or a cafe I have to look them in the eyes and smile. Cause i want their world to be a place of smiling faces.
Kidz are literally the future, and we should care for them as such.
That's beautiful words 😊
Keeps changing
"Either have children or become a saint, because eventually, you have to find something you love more than you love yourself." - Naval Ravikant
#soul
I’ve described it as your entire life passing through the eye of a needle. Instant meaning. Instant connection to god. To the all. Instant overwhelm. All the pain? Every mistake, every embarrassment, every unfairness, every negative thing in your life suddenly perfect, because they led you to this moment. To this child and of course it had to be this child. It could not have been any other. A sacred duty bestowed on you by god the father and the suddenly it all make sense. It always was you. Hey little one. It’s me dad.
I say amen to that. Whenever I think of the question “if you could go back in time, what would you change?” … the answer is easy: nothing. Not a thing. Everything, good or bad or in between, led to this moment and this child. Any other path taken and he wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t trade his existence for the world.
From the road by Cormac McCarthy
And once again I say amen to that…
It’s one of those things where you truly cannot even begin to comprehend the depth of change that will take place in you… you feel like you can’t possibly deserve something this good—deserve the love they give you—how could anyone? and so you strive to make yourself good enough to be worthy of them and their love.
I have had this exact same thought. Followed by.. ok now every mistake or fault is 1000x more consequential abd amplified lol. In one day everything in past gets incredibly light while the future weighs infinitely heavy
Well said… I feel that deeply.
But mistakes can be fixed and faults improved. All we can do as dads is try to be better than we were the day before.
None of us will ever be perfect, but that’s good news because it means there is *always* room for improvement.
Well said.
Children are blessings.
Fathers for life.
Love Go Up technology.
It’s a sacred duty
🫂
This is beautifully written ❤️. Your words truly capture the magic, responsibility, and transformation that come with fatherhood 👶💛. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt reflection — it inspires and reminds us of the depth of love and purpose family brings 🌟🙏."
That works too 😆
Nice words, I really like it too now. However, I wouldnt romantize it too much. The first year of our first child I would tell everyone how horrible it was to have kids (bad nights, losing your sex life, wife going back to work, financial presure) lol
These exact thoughts hold so much weight in my mind. After my wife and had our stillborn in early 2024, I never understood why it had to happen to us. Then I look at my soon to be 1 year old boy, then all of a sudden that pain has meaning. Without all these past experiences, he wouldn’t be here. What a blessing it is to be a dad and someone’s everything
This is so sweet ❤️
