What's your approach? Agree it's critical to help teach children - for their own sake. Have been trying a mixture of rewards and counting with time outs for our 4 year old. Sometimes my instinct is to shout at her 😅 But I think that probably models bad behaviour, so I resist.

As a father myself, I agree discipline matters—but I’ve learned it’s not something you impose, it’s something you model and build over time. Kids don’t lack willpower—they’re still developing it. Our role is to provide structure, stay consistent, and lend them our calm when they don’t have their own yet. Discipline without connection creates fear. Connection without discipline creates chaos. The real work is holding both.

I see children as having remarkable willpower. Especially the very young ones. They haven't had their will diminished yet. They believe in their ability and egocentrically demand it. In that regard the father's role might be to guide and focus that willpower thus reinforcing it. Said in tech parlance: The willpower comes pre-installed, it just gets corrupted and less functional as more programs get loaded on top.

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I second that

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Pro you are a literal oppressor. Children should choose what they want at all time without push back. /s

Im over 50, fatherless upbringing and that's the one thing i have to always consciously be aware of. Only recognised the source a few years ago really

Pretty much spot on. !

Making kids world safe > Making world kid safe

A father's duty is so much more than just "instill discipline" though.

Actually training self-discipline is the goal. Forcing it externally except minimally causes much damage and resistance. Simple fiat is dominance-submission ape stuff that we can do better than. And why only from father anyway?

Fiat causes this? That's the stupidest thing I've read today. But, it's still pretty low on the list of stupid things jimmy song has said.

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The father protects the relationship between mother and child. That being said, most US presidents had absent fathers.

Instead of physically disciplining your children a better approach is to be a positive role model and practice self discipline. When you lose your temper and beat your children you're teaching them to be weak and undisciplined. Teaching them that it's ok to resort to anger and violence whenever they get frustrated at someone weaker than themselves.

Some post-Soviet Russian films explore how the loss of so many men during WW2 created a fatherless generation subsequently. Much has been made about soldiers themselves coming back with PTSD, and how women who stayed behind in the West found a new identity with work and so on. The effect of an absence is harder to depict and draw conclusions from, but I’ve been told the KGB scouted recruits directly from orphanages. Easier to manipulate someone who longs for a parental connection, or lacks one that would instill a morality to resist the actions required of a KGB agent. Unfortunately, many such children were available after that war, and now will be again in Ukraine.

Can you recommend a film to watch?

The Thief (1997). In Russian it’s titled «Вор», which phonetically spelled in English is “Vor”.

So many weak men without discipline make for neglectful parents. My kids made me take a good look at myself and stop procrastinating on making necessary improvements 💪🏻

I've been thinking a lot more of the people who think it's good that their kids get loans for school and don't inherit anything, so they can build character or something. Seems like the goal is, 'I won't raise them with character or discipline (or likely much else beyond an iPad) but will instead leave them broke so they can sink or swim.' Very fiat indeed.

Instill Discipline = Here comes the “spare the rod…” bullshit in 3, 2, 1….