very pro-tip that is often overlooked. also, it gets really tiring when you have to constantly try to appease others that doesn't jive with your own values. obviously there's a time of learning and mimicry and expanding one's worldview, but there's also the time to take independence and realize your own existence.

Thats how we become alone 😂

Well said. Hiding behind a mask and lying to the world will not find you or anyone happiness. Be your true self always.

Nobody can put up with me for longer, even myself

I lived the vast majority of my life as an arch people pleaser... I realized, eventually, that the only person that consistently loses in this game is me. I don't know how far I'll be able to get in growing away from this strategy, as I only have so much time left on Earth. But we shall see.

Yes

contextual WoT fixes this. you might align with someone on one context but not on another. you should remain connected with them on the aligned context, but 'unfollow' them on the other context. authentic relationships are complex and not binary. tribalism is binary.

this is genius

I am adding this in my WoT notes to remind myself when I get to it

i unironically think it is the only salvation for a viable networked society.

@david is leading the charge on this. look out for the WoT hackathon from @nosfabrica coming this month

I think this fits well into the topical microblogging idea i have been kicking around

Thoughts that sprang forth reading the above…(to be clear, I heard there’s been some stuff up recently @jb55 but as I’ve barely been on here I have no idea what it was all about, so this is only in direct response to your note here) Yes to being authentic. At the same time there’s always room to grow and it can’t happen if only surrounded by those that align. In my experience I’ve grown more listening/pondering/learning from those who at first did *not* align. Most everything we think and believe is a story we were told, usually before we were cognizant, and to grow we need to make room for the stories to evolve and sometimes to change completely. All that said, things have changed. We used to grow mostly from books, direct experiences and the people around us. Social media is a new beast and it can be brutal. It is important that we are conscious of what we feed (literally) ourselves through this medium, dialing it up and down as needed for our mental and emotional health. Only we know where we are hiding, where it’s too much, where we are ready for the discomfort that might propel our growth. Once we have a family, our first responsibility is to them, and we gotta do what it takes to be solid and strong before submitting oneself to the wild rollercoaster of the online world. If anyone read this far I’d be curious to hear your thoughts. Peace.

If you align with non judgemental truth seekers who disagree then this happens naturally and in a healthier way than toxic people who disagree

Can’t remember where I read this recently but it was the idea that small villages were better for humans because it forced you to learn to live with the multiplicity that is other people. You got better at it because you had no choice. Large cities allowed people to ignore others. It’s likely impossible to return to that, but it stuck with me.

Where can I read more about that?

That's really good. do you remember where you read that? I'd like to learn more about it. I suspect we have a "Dunbar's number" for each major social context (and perhaps a Dunbar's number of contexts), and that proper digital tools can help tease out and augment that structure.

I think I have been saying this a while back, relationships are not single-dimensional either.

Kind of like saying blue hair is sexy but I don't agree with your politics.

This basically captures it, yes lol

Authenticity sounds romantic until we realize most people don't know what it feels like anymore, we edit ourselves for approval, then call it connection, but THE TRUTH ISN'T POLISHED, it's RAW (❗️)🤔, inconvenient, magnetic,...😳 The moment we stop performing (being fake), the realest people appear, and the wrong ones take a hike (fade) 😳😁😳

Man, wish I could find the exact reference for you. Swear it was in a Hacker News thread or something… which now that I think about it was more about loneliness, which is ironic right. The common thread here is that the more connected we are in a networked/online society a) the more we fight and b) the more isolated we get. Pretty sure Putnam’s Bowling Alone was referenced, which was originally written in 1995. It talks about declines in civic engagement since the 60s. I find it super interesting to read 30 years later because it looks prescient, similar to something like Amusing Ourselves to Death which was also pre-internet.

What if my authentic self is annoying and difficult to stand lol

This starts at the latest when looking for a job, but actually already during vocational training (whatever that may be). Many people don't have the courage to follow your advice even at this stage. From then on, it only gets worse.

Yeah I recall being my authentic self at least once where it didn't go well.

💯🎯 If y'all only knew how many people hit me up behind the scenes to tell me they support the message I'm spreading, but are afraid to speak up on it themselves... If you're reading this, you know who you are. Don't take this as an attack. Just know that you will feel 1000x better once you stop suppressing the truth you hold inside of your subconscious, and LET IT FLOW. I promise the negative blowback you receive will be temporary and pale in comparison to the support you'll ultimately receive, especially at this moment in time when the overton window is shifting so aggressively toward TRUTH and rewarding those who speak it fearlessly. View quoted note →

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. The internet fundamentally changed human society because it changed who you could be connected with. But the problem that arised was that you couldn't reach other people based on the offline connections you already had and big tech / social media algos became the permanent proxies This is a video not directly related to the topic we are discussing but opened my mind to why web of trust would be very very important for nostr. Also, with the advancements in AI, without WoT, you'd need more and more privacy invading stuff to keep the internet working which can't last very long

There is a reason why evolution created tribal behavior patterns in us (and many animal species), we should not ignore that part. Inevitably WoT is great for the twitter/social use case - for loose live-together situations - but tribal mode is better in staying committed and achieving concrete goals. We are both of these.

This video connects to the conversation. If everyone is hyperconnected, both from a network theory + math perspective, and we actualize it with a persistent connection in your pocket available 24/7…. Why would people end up more isolated and disagreeable? I think there is something to the idea that technology itself satisfies so many of our idiosyncratic desires that we are increasingly having a harder time communicating. If you have 8 billion unique worldviews, each getting more fragmented… then conflict and the resulting isolation is a natural result.

Thanks for the advice just unfollowed you, I don't like Iphone people. Nothing personal.

Yes.! I helped organize a bachelorette bash on a yacht in Dubai last year, and the best moment was seeing everyone drop their masks and just be them. We found the perfect setup through

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—no judgment, just a bunch of people celebrating authenticity . It’s a reminder that life’s too short to not be yourself, and sometimes, a Dubai yacht party is the perfect place to remember that. Surround yourself with those who cheer for your true self—on land or at sea!

The simple volume of information does not allow the average, even the above average, individual to have fully formed ideas, if we are not continuously/continually? developing our position we are dangerously entrenched in the doctrines of others.

But I’m so different idk if bc anyone aligns with my authentic self… I’d have to unfollow everyone and have no friends in that case lol

💯💯💯💯

you don’t need lots of friends. 0 friends is fine too, you can just solo travel and enjoy your own company.

True friends appreciate being told the truth. It can make things a touch lonely when they don’t like what you say.

Unfortunately🤔, also the best experience we can get, is when we don’t fake it, Faking in situations, make the empty feeling inside wider/bigger, and also not good for our mental health 💐

🫂 cheers brother.

When you said “suppressing yourself is like telling a lie that never ends,” it suddenly struck me: buying a yacht is the same. The worst thing is buying a boat for others. You clearly want a small sailboat to fish and enjoy the breeze with your family, but you choose a luxury model for appearances. Then every time you go out, it feels like you're going through the motions of a “must-pretend-to-be-happy” event—more exhausting than suppressing yourself. True yachting joy is an extension of being yourself: if you cherish tranquility, choose a cruiser with a study; if you crave adventure, pick an explorer vessel that can tackle deserted islands. This Beginner's Yacht Buying Guide doesn't teach you how to buy the most expensive one. Instead, it teaches you how to ask yourself: "Am I buying a boat to ‘look like a wealthy person’? Or to ‘be my truest self at sea’?

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This is why I follow you and have Damus Purple. 👊

that gems tips

How can I pay my purple subscription for Damus purple with sats like it used to be a year ago now it forces me to use apple and pay with fiat. No option to renew with lightning ⚡️

I paid for Damus purple-renewalone year subscription but why is it not activated on my account? How does it work I have proof of payment.

Never d I’m just not patient enough