I've hinted at mental health issues before and people expressed interest. One thing outsiders don't see is that most people weren't born with their issues, they were given to us by the people around us. This post inspired me to share a little story about autistic disdain for false authority. First let me be clear that we see and understand authority just fine. The issue is a refusal to participate in unearned authority. A true expert earns my respect. An authority position held by someone I don't feel earned it does not. Sorry anyone who thinks they deserve respect over a title or age but I don't give a fuck. This is fluid by subject. I'm capable of treating the same person as the ultimate authority on one subject and dog shit I just stepped in on another. Finally the story. Early elementary school. My teacher decided to send me to the principles office. I declined to go and simply sat in my chair. The teacher could not or would not tell me which rule I had broken. No broken rule, I don't need to go to the principles office. That is for kids who break the rules. I was told I was disrupting class. I explained that they disrupted class not me. I wasn't the one who stopped the class to attempt to send me to the principles office when I had broken no rule and then refused to move on. So my adult teacher physically assaulted me in class in front of all the other students. Violence to get compliance from a child perpetrated by an adult. Nothing changed. I told the principle exactly what happened. I was sent back to class. With the same teacher. We continued in pattern for the rest of the school year. The teacher was not fired. I wasn't even moved to a different class with a different teacher. One moment of a pattern of mistreatment by many people across a lifetime. I was never told why I was different. The only recurring point was that I was different and that difference meant I was worthy of mistreatment. Without knowledge about why or how I was different I had no way to defend any sense of a true me. I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my 30s. It was years after that until I saw any content that wasn't negative or defecit based about autistic people. Only then did I find anything about how to build a life I could be comfortable in instead of being handed what was neurotypical and told I was a faulty person for not liking it. A lifetime in a world actively hostile to your natural state takes a massive mental health toll. Most who get diagnosed as adults start looking because their lives are falling apart. This post is already long and burnout itself is a whole different story. Without the why any story of the what would seem absurd. If I'm going to talk publicly about my experience the main thing I want the reader to see is the way we contribute in large and small ways to the mental health states of those around us. Next story will be about the small death of 1000 cuts stuff. A side exercise for the reader. What do the Nazis and the current Trump admin have in common that made them both so obsessed with autistics?
Ghost👻's avatar Ghost👻
My autistic brain does not care for concepts of authority. The idea that someone is right, just because of their status, and not the substance of their argument, is illogical.
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Replies (13)

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to soooo much of this in so many ways. Early 40s, diagnosed only few years ago and had similar experiences in school and with authority throughout life.
The community of people who are neurodivergent sharing neurodivergent developed tips for a better life has come a LONG way. The first time I was told and looked into it all I could find was information from people who's goal was autistic people "acting normal" Telling a fish out of water how to breathe and expecting compliance would be insane. Meanwhile the entire psychology industry and research base hasn't looked at autism beyond compiling a list of ways we annoy neurotypicals and methods for forcing us to stop doing those things. Happy to chat as a fellow adult finally learning who I am and how to be myself.
Empathy starts with understanding. Seek to learn, not judge.
Empathy starts with understanding. Seek to learn, not judge.
Empathy starts with understanding. Seek to learn, not judge.
Thank you for sharing man. We accumulate traumas in childhood that we can carry for life. Knowing who you are is super important. 🫂💚
That's wild. What type of teacher would do such a thing. I assume they yanked you or some such thing, not _hit_ you, but still no good.
Both. They left marks if that is any standard, another low bar tripped over. They lost their temper. I'm not the only one in the world who lacks coping skills.
Right. The crazy thing is if all the adults around you fail to act, you as a kid are left with no option but to conclude this is normal and acceptable. Maybe not acceptable for all the kids but it must be for you. I was an adult until I reflected on that memory and realized how fucked it was.
They will always criticize, that's not going to change. Do you know what can change? What produces those words inside of you. That just depends on you. Accept yourself, show yourself true to who you are and don't hide. Change companies, they do you wrong.
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