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Talk to them like they are a human. Because they are. Find out why they are upset.

If you feel the need to yell or numb them with your phone, do what is the hardest, do exactly the opposite, go down to their level hug and comfort them by that you deny yourself and show them grace.

Opening up the phone was for the parents’ benefit, not the kid’s. They took the path of least resistance because they wanted a reduction in volume/anxiety. Personally I would have either let the toddler cry it out and possibly take a nap, or figure out what was wrong. But I suspect the parent knew what was up and just wanted to end the tantrum. Not exactly setting that kid up to be able to cope with things later in life… -Tom

If it's being used as a pacifier then the child will expect it more and more. It's a slippery slope. Also tiktok is the absolute worst to put into the hands of an infant. The algorithm picks up on the way they swipe and will feed them brain rot content.

When a child is in distress, he literally has no way out other than to scream and cry about it. You have to physically build the pathways in your kid's brain to give them that path to cope and return to equilibrium. And that means sitting with your child through his emotions and letting him copy your mind while you calm down together. It starts at home, and if you're in public during the meltdown, you're too late. I may not have kids, but watching relatives deal with their kids by constantly yelling at them gave me a strong cautionary tale of what not to do. I'm of the belief that kids mirror the emotional life of their parents. If the kid is unable to manage his emotions, there's a good chance the parents are unable as well.

What I got from that thread is a reminder that everyone is a judgy prick who likes to jump to conclusions. You have no clue the context other people are in. This is no different than the realization that the person you are road raging at might be on their way to the hospital. If you do know the person and they do have a problem, public shaming them isn't doing anything productive anyway. Maybe look for a way to help instead of just judging and shaming others. Live your life right and leave it at that. Your obsession with forcing strangers to live like you is just you being an authoritarian prick.

Most small kids will have fits of anger, during which there is barely any point in talking to them, as they are unable to process your input (scolding/cajoling/etc). In my opinion, the best way to deal with this is to just wait it out as stoically as you can, maybe move them to a place where they are less of a disturbance to others (to reduce the likelihood that their judgment will affect your own actions). After the anger has passed, talk it out. Definitely don't reward tantrums, in fact make it clear in advance that tantrums will get them less, not more. I don't think there is a magic solution, it's part of raising a kid.

This is hilarious, please revisit this if / when you have a kid or two.

Ok lol

Slight detour from the actual question, this is more in response to the replies, and will be a controversial opinion, certainly is with my wife, but I think parenting has gone backwards since we abandoned physical discipline. Young kids aren’t yet rational yet you’re going to solely rely on reasoning with them? Without the threat of that additional escalation, you are limited in your ability to properly set boundaries. I feel hamstrung as a parent and find the modern approach absurd. I grew up with physical discipline and believe I am better for it. Should be absolute last resort, but it needs to be there else your kids don’t take you seriously.

Firstly, we aim for almost zero screen time. Long haul flights are the main exception, or occasionally at home The screens are literally frying their brains with crack cocaine style addictive stimulation Second, an outburst publicly is harder for the parent than the child, and yes we’ve got into many situations we’d prefer to have not been in, but it’s very important they express themselves, and process whatever upset them. So the best approach is try and slow down and get on their level (much easier said than done!) 🙏🏻

I think what might work for some might traumatize others. I'm fairly certain it turned my dad into a person that does not ever dare to show any emotions of frustration or resentment. I mean my grandpa hit him with the belt, maybe it's a bit far fetched but if you can do X why not Y or where is the line then exactly? The only time i get physical with one of my kids is if she is going berserk during dinner beyond reason and i cannot get her to move to a different room by herself. I always tell her i don't want to do it but i will (and do) and it always breaks my heart because she will fight hard so i have to be careful while she screams that i'm hurting her. I always try to make the moment as short as possible. I would never use something to physically hurt them. I don't want to teach them that if you don't get what you want it's ok to physically overpower someone.

Utopian kid raising. My childless friends start mocking me at this point whenever i say they have no idea and cannot comprehend and i get that, that was me prior to becoming a parent.

The best thing from these two threads is that you can tell with 99% certainty who actually has kids and who doesn't. 😂

My daughter is two. No screen time, books and audio. When she acts up (she mostly does it out of frustration when she does not get her will), we try to be empathetic and verbalise the emotion for her. We ask her whether she is so loud because she did not get what she wanted. Usually I then tell her that I fully understand the way she reacts. No one likes not getting what they want. Finally I explain to her that we can’t always get what we want and that sometimes we forbid things to make sure she is safe. That usually works wonders

No screen time, only books and audio*

Be ready to pay attention to your kid, or plan ahead accordingly ( not digital babysitter). Fussing is Ok. Meltdowns are also Ok in most situations. Safety first. Consistency and compasssion, but don’t try and explain or rationalize. Love and hugs. Maybe a spanking here and there. More love and hugs, but clear limits with realistic and logical repercussions.

Daddy here 🙋🏼‍♂️. The moment my daughter is with me is the moment im not with my phone. Thats my simple rule. I prefer being present. I seperate my time between lifetime abd corn. My 2 most valuable assets. It‘s either focus on lifetime or focus on bitcoin. That‘s it for me.

when you have kids, you realise every parent is winging it. I don’t judge bro💜

Ideally the same way you deal with it at home. If you’d be embarrassed doing what you do at home in public, then it probably wasn’t a good method.

If she starts acting up in public, if possible I take her aside to a quiet place where we can talk until she calms down. If absolutely impossible and she indeed needs to be silent (like in a concert, a long flight, or some kind of ceremony) and I can’t move, then I use the phone but usually just show pictures of us. Never TikTok or any other app.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. It’s a financial/lifestyle sacrifice but through careful budgeting we’re able to keep my wife home. She’s with him all day everyday and as a result she’s way in tune with his emotional state and he’s a happy, confident baby that has his needs met well before they become a meltdown.

Dad here, execute a Seal Team 6 extraction. Always bring backup if possible, this is where older siblings prove invaluable.