Thread

How did things get this far in the process if you are not on board with it?

That's tough dude. I'll keep it short: Happy wife, happy life is a lie as big as fiat. You (the man's) happiness is paramount. Do what you think is best for you. Don't go along with stuff you don't want. It's never too late to walk away, and by the sound of it, you do but you don't wanna admit it to yourself. Source: I've had a similar situation and much experience with getting fucked over in relationships.

Honesty goes a long way. Share your feelings but know they’re impermanent and very well could change. Don’t make a hasty call based off how you feel right now. Chew it over. Talk about it. Work through it. That means having hard conversations, accepting things you can’t change, and potentially losing what you have with her. And that’s also okay even if it hurts.

Since you were not given to have your own biological children in your life, you don't have much of a chance actually. The best thing you can do is to love your wife and raise a kid as if he/she was your own. Let's hope the birth will turn out fine and everyone will be healthy. Good luck!

Well to be fair - when I met my wife I had absolutely zero idea I was not able to have kids.. if I knew my condition I would definitely not of been in a relationship with someone who told me from day one that she wants to be a mom.. so fast forwarding and having a good relationship it’s very difficult…

Walking away is not an option.. it’s not her fault that I am not able to be the father of the kid genetically.. Just wondered if anyone on here has been through the same situation

I can’t leave her high and dry.. that’s cowardice.. I just wanted some help or perspective from someone with the same issue.. 🤝

Yeah thank you.. it’s almost like meeting a girl who has just fallen pregnant with someone else and you raise the kid but in the background you always know it’s not yours..

These feelings might start to improve for you after kid is born, from what I've heard

Hard to give advice without knowing more about you or your wife or your broader circumstances. Some general advice: You are where you are and you have to face reality as it is. So talk to your wife. Let her know how you are struggling with it. Not as a means of guilting her or casting blame. Rather as a means of working through it together. You're a team and though thid is a sensitive situation all around you should be able to talk and work through it. Can't harbor resentment or even self pity. That is poison to your marriage. Do what you can on the nutritional and physiological side in search for solutions to whatever is keeping you from having kids. You may be able to address the issue(s) in order to have your own children in the future. Talk to a pastor or counselor about the situation and about how you can learn to love your child as your own. You can also try to find other men who have had similar experiences and ask for insight. It isn't entirely different from adoption and people develop deep love for their adopted children. Will pray to the Lord today for you, your wife, and the little one she carries.

Thanks for the kind words.. I’ve decided to end all things so it’s been good. 🤝🙏

End all things?