study bitcoin deeper.. then you'll know how

Where would I need to start? I was a Bitcoin maxi for the first 4-5 years. Then in 2015 I discovered that I would need more privacy to protect my family from transparent transactions. Maybe you remember how in 2013 they took down the biggest Bitcoin market to date. Ever since, I relaxed my maxi stance and scaled into Monero. Now I would describe myself as an OH Bitcoiner that transcended almost fully into a Monero supporter.

Thanks to lightning we now have a layer to make transactions that never make it onchain (i.e. lightning transactions don't show up on a globally replicated ledger that can be cracked or traced 10 years from now...). With lightning it requires you to use a bit different approach and be smart about wallets you use, but the privacy can be better. This really depends on your risk profile though - if you are running a set up at the level of DNM bible, then it actually doesn't matter much whether you use bitcoin or not.

For me it does matter. I want highest grade privacy. I've been making LN tx since it came out and I still find it cumbersome after almost a decade.

Lightning is de facto centralized, with Lightning addresses being dependent on centralized identity schemes in the form of domain names. It’s not only that this makes Lightning ripe for censorship, but provides a side channel for possible surveillance. There’s also so little Lightning activity and most of it is not even remotely anonymous that it makes it a giant autocorrelation hazard. Until Lightning universally adopts Tor or i2p onion support for Lightning addresses, any claim to privacy or decenatrlization is an absolute joke.

You don't need to use lightning addresses, just use BOLT12... Most of wallets now support it. Also many wallets support Tor if you wish. E.g. Phoenix. And Phoenix is a good example, because it uses LSP (acinq), but it's very easy to spin new wallet, you don't need any email or anything like that.

Nostr zaps don't support BOLT12, not without a bridge that uses a centralized domain name. I’ve never seen BOLT12 supported in an actual desktop wallet. Phoenix is Android only. I’m supposed to rely on a smartphone for privacy and security? Come on man. “All you need to do is adopt a fringe technology that is only available in a phone app that nobody uses.” At this point, you have ceded that Monero is superior.

Oh sure, if you are talking specifically about nostr zaps, these are not currently fully private in the general use (this is a public social network where you broadcast the fact that you zapped someone... all other users can see that User A zapped user B and that's the point of zaps). If you would want fully private zaps for some reason, then couple pieces are missing. All of these are fairly solvable pieces, but it hasn't been done yet (e.g. LDK supports Bolt12 and so any desktop wallet can add it, Zaps could support using bolt12 offers ("lno...") instead of lightning addresses, Phoenix/Acinq has released phoenixd that can be run on desktop and it has the same capabilities as the mobile wallet...). If you just want to receive anonymous donations, another option that's gaining some traction is Silent Payments. Some wallets are starting to support it, but not yet generally usable. So what exactly is the usecase you are arguing for? You want to have public social network where everyone sees your posts and your zaps, while you want to use this only via Tor and only via a desktop computer? What is the specific thing that you don't want people to actually see about you?

I am not talking specifically about Nostr zaps. I am highlighting a widespread lack of support. people are using Lightning addresses. Features that do not have cross-platform support and are not supported on the software that people are actually using can safely be dismissed as very nice demos. Monero works on every platform now and is not commonly used in a manner that is dependent on centralized identity.

Oh, if you are not talking about zaps, then lightning addresses are not actually used that often in the overall lightning network. Lightning addresses are an user experience wrapper around bolt11 invoices that's convenient in some use cases, because it provides user readable & writable address (similar to how sending email is convenient and decent solution to some usecases - are you sending emails?). Is monero providing user readable & writable addresses? How does it solve this without relying on DNS & domains? Now bolt11 invoices are supported by literally every lightning wallet. The privacy there is decent for the sender (onion routed, same as Tor), but it depends on specific node/tool/app you use. Bolt12 is generally better, but as we discussed, not all wallets support it yet. The situation has improved quite rapidly last year - I use bolt12 when it makes sense.

Tor is controlled and data exploited by agencies. Monero can be sent over anything. There's even a bridge to Reticulum. Email is an absolute privacy nightmare even WhatsApp is better for the majority of users. I stopped using email years ago as the best you can do is encrypt the message, but never the metadata. Bitcoin is like email. Monero is like Whitenoise/SimpleX. It's like day and night.