Katie ⌁

GM from a wet, quiet, gentle moment of peace. https://blossom.primal.net/00f98fa6e8d3d316db80d279f50b0e48b85fd41ed5fade098c5b436e96fae039.mov

Everyone wants to be seen until they realize it highlights the chasm between them and the masks they are wearing.

Every addiction is an avoidance of creation and service. It is a way to consume your own energy. Every addictive pattern I’ve had, there is simply a moment where I decide I am done. It feels boring. It’s like I can see how overdone it is and is such a waste of my energy. It’s a compelling waste because it’s convenient and doesn’t require much of me, which is why we gotta run it out for a while. But then there’s a moment where you’re just sick of it and you’re sick of yourself doing that little game again. Here’s your invitation to just decide you’re done.

Ayn Rand coming in so hot on money. Wow.

Grieving is metabolizing. It is love changing form. Not into anything that is not Love. But another flavour. Into an aspect of you that will live on forever.

Newly compressed with #nostrbuildshak https://blossom.primal.net/f468a8e22cb31461c4db4892e2615e06b11df0708ba5123eb46119cfb49ab6ab.mp4

Money does not cause problems. It illuminates problems that would otherwise be hidden under the surface.

People like to blame the information and content of what we consume for their psychological state and the state of humanity. there’s a belief that information shapes perception. On one layer that’s true… But here’s the thing about what we read and watch… it only impacts us if there is a resonant match within. we consume what resonates with us. pure and simple. It is the same reason two people can read the same book and one person will feel invigorated and expanded and another with feel meh and move on. some may say the book changed the first person, but no, it simply awakened a remembrance. It touched something that was there, waiting for it. Everything you’re reading and watching is being drawn to you by an internal signal. Don’t like what you’re seeing? Tune in to your signal and see what needs sorting out.

A while ago I ran a program called REUNION, which was an opportunity for men and women to orient to mature relating and have the opportunity to practice honest and vulnerable expression with each other while learning more about the opposite sex. It has been one of my favourite things to run and has had some beautiful outcomes. I’ve had couples do it together. I’ve had half’s of couples do it. I’ve had singles do it. It’s an arena of sorts that has a very loving field of openness and permission. I’m feeling a very quiet nudge that it may be time to run it again from the embodiment I sit now. I’m not sure yet but this is a clip from one of the calls I held for the men. It feels like an important one. If you’re desiring a space like I described above, let me know. Either way, enjoy some firey Katie. https://blossom.primal.net/83bac0c81a086b0e66b36d46adabbfaaea332211740b3af3c9194fee20cd1df3.mov

Homemade apple juice made from wild apples I picked off a tree in the back forest. It’s fucking delicious.

For the last half a year or so I’ve been in a deeper contemplation of what I know, what I don’t know and where it feels true to put my energy. I’ve wondered about the point of it all. I’ve listened to what energy actually feels true to express. I have had periods of real conviction in the last few years and periods of going from “I know” to “I don’t know at all” (many of these recently) and these have been really important. They have taken me back down to the quiet places of finding what I do know, below the loudness of cultural discourse. They have also taken me to seeing where I actually am with my beliefs, in person. Seeing what I can hold in my system when discussing with the person in front of me rather than blasting from the rooftops behind my screen. It’s refined me and challenged me in the best of ways. Something that feels really clear to me today is that no matter where we exist on the spectrums of beliefs, we did not come down here to sit on the sidelines and watch life unfold in front of us. We did not choose this human 3D experience to simply check out. Every person who comes into my life teaches me something because of who they are and what they stand for. These past few months, I’ve been introduced to many new things because people spoke about what they cared about. This is just as much a message to me right now as it is to you. I think about being on my death bed often and how I want to feel. I think about what it will take from me to live a really full life. I’ve had moments where I imagine my to life to be quite simple and small. And, any time I start going down that path, I feel the deeper part of me that fires up the engine to remind me there’s more. We each play a role in the creation of this world. Neutrality does not create. Over intellectualizing does not create. Overriding of self does not create. Believing Nothing does not create. There are many things arranging into place for me and so much is nebulous at the moment. But I wanted to come on here and share this. Because this is what I know today.

I’ve been really sitting in a bit of a laundry machine of beliefs and stories these last few months. Moving from “I know” to “I don’t know” on some things. But what I realized is if we sit simply in the “I don’t know” always, it’s a great way to avoid action. Something I am asking myself is “what do I know?” Because it is from there I can move. And could everything change? Sure. But at least I am living and not foundering in a dissolving psyche while the world continues on without me. There is purpose in being here.

Creation requires selfishness. You cannot be generous if you are sacrificing or depleting self.

Probably the best paragraphs I’ve read so far. Articulates the greatest distortion of Love we’ve ever had.

“All I want is peace” He said Shoulders back Chest out Head on a swivel “You know that feeling you get when you look at the stars And there is no more need to fight” I see the way his eyes scan around us Even the mosquitos could be a threat Never choosing to look for too long No rest “All I want is peace” He said “For my nieces and nephewsAnd my future kids too The peace that my father will never know Foreign to my mother and everyone else back home” When things have felt like war for multiple generations Peace really does seem like the only valid destination “I change the way I talk around you” He said His tone softer Words slower A mechanism of acquiring Jobs, women, a life worth living Modifying, strategizing, unconsciously trying To survive His past, it seems Filled with scenes from a movie Guns, gangs, jail And yet tonight he lays in the park with me Where the mosquitos may actually be his greatest threat And me, I listen I feel a fraction Of the weight of the tightly wound trauma, alive in his bones The heaviness in my chest sensing what he knows “All I want is peace” He said Well if that’s the case, I can’t help but wonder Will this man ever truly feel like home? - written October, 2023

The only way to preserve the purity of love between you and another is to honour self and other at the same time. If you get to a point where you have to abandon one in order to honour the other, that’s where you pause. That is what it means to be in service to Love.

The most energy generous pose to hold is one of openness. Acceptance of your current state. Allowing. It doesn’t matter the content of your state- angry, grief stricken, stressed, heart broken- if you’re in acceptance of it, you’re contributing to the space around you. So many people I work with and know, have shared. “I don’t want to bring my shitty vibes to the people around me,” and I have felt that too. But the irony is, the resistance is what pulls on other people’s energy. The closure is what actually takes away from those you care for. Your judgement of your experience is what makes you a dark cloud - not the experience itself. Our cultural obsession with happiness, joy and good vibes is a distortion that keeps us separate. Open or closed. It’s that simple. Let us be together- in whatever state we’re in. That’s where connection actually lies.

Btw, social media only has the power to hijack you if you’re disconnected from your body, Truth and living only in your mind. There’s a lot of discourse about the issues with the information we’re receiving and I definitely agree, but when you have a system attuned to a frequency that lives much deeper than information, you’re able to discern what goes in a helluva lot better.

I feel like union is the kind of partnership and love that is totally unreasonable yet you can see how it makes absolute logical sense as well.

Every morning.