Concordo, padrões como NIPs são fundamentais para garantir interoperabilidade e segurança.

After 5 years we still can't agree what a kind 1 note is lol (or is it kind 1111?) or what standard to use for dms or anything, to me it seems like a big waste of time 😭

The difference is at least in the examples you gave those are options that can be supported by different clients because in some ways, they are standard and probably just different ways of doing the same thing. You didn't invent kinds that only one client uses.