tilly's issue was just giving care and love that the other person isnt able to receive or reciprocate
as in: i cant owe you this much, i cant pay it back, and now i feel grotesque in your presence and uncomfortable by the wealth of your generosity and impoverishment of mine, i am literally too embarrassed to be in your company any longer
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im not saying it is conscious in that person
tilly may just come across as a smother mother, or weirdly infantilizing their friend, or some unnamed oppressive thing, or fake, like why are you roleplaying that you care by braiding my hair while i am vulnerable when you dont even know me, the real me, and i know you dont, cos i dont