im not saying it is conscious in that person
tilly may just come across as a smother mother, or weirdly infantilizing their friend, or some unnamed oppressive thing, or fake, like why are you roleplaying that you care by braiding my hair while i am vulnerable when you dont even know me, the real me, and i know you dont, cos i dont
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cos all this also cascades
and likely, she doesnt have the history or context
for instance: if tilly is showing up in such a way that this person's ex partners never did, their own mom never did
well, it isnt cos love like this doesnt exist
it is cos those people were incapable
and we are wired to ~especially~ defend, largely unconsciously, our parents treatment of us