Yep, because if you follow 200 people and each person adds 20 relays, that's 4000 connections.

So manually remove all the extra relays that Amethyst has added. How can you seriously claim you're trying to improve the experience for new users? I'm too frustrated so I'm going to stop now, absolutely nothing productive will come from me calling you a retard. Have a nice day.

we don't add any relays automatically. WE don't even recommend outbox relays these days.. Just keep the relays that have your posts.

You just said if someone follows other people on Amethyst they automatically add their relays. Which is it?

That's just the outbox model. Every client right now does this. Nostr requires it. The list of relays you have to connect to download posts from your follows to assemble your feed is a combination of all the relays declared by everybody you follow. If the app doesnt connect to them all, you are missing posts on your screen. I guarantee it. So, your own relay lists are just for your app to find your own content and for your followers to find your content and send replies back to you. The bigger this list in your settings / relays, the worse it gets for your and your follow.

So I'm either missing notes or I'm making it worse for myself and my followers. Good to know.

Or just reduce the amount of relays and you solve both. Easy win.

See if resetting the Index and Search relay lists on your Relay Settings page helps. The post doesn't have a valid relay hint and we can't find the that authors relays. So we then use the index and search lists. Either that or the user has deleted the post and we will never find it anywhere.