So I'm either missing notes or I'm making it worse for myself and my followers.
Good to know.
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Or just reduce the amount of relays and you solve both. Easy win.

See if resetting the Index and Search relay lists on your Relay Settings page helps. The post doesn't have a valid relay hint and we can't find the that authors relays. So we then use the index and search lists.
Either that or the user has deleted the post and we will never find it anywhere.