You can add aggr.nostr.land for now as a read relay which is a WoT-filtered aggregator for notifications.
You will probably want to do that anyway as not every client will write to your inboxes for replies.
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I will do, however, the UX I want is to add nostr.land once for r/w/dm and you figure everything out
How can I benefit from "Make your feeds load instantly with the Nostr.land aggregator," when clients read from a hundred other relays anyway?