i just finally admitted to myself that if they don't care about decentralization they aren't in my circle
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directly with me, they may use a good option that works for my practices and ideology, but let's say I don't want my phone number to be swept up in the contact sweep dragnet meta forces on all its users on whatsapp.
it's impossible to force people in my circles to not have my phone number shared because they will use whatsapp with people other than me.
i like your approach and I am the same way, but i realized sometimes it's hard to get people to recognize the dangers of giving up one's data.