Do not expect people to respect your boundaries if you cannot respect them yourself.
If you fail to say “no”, that’s on you.
If you fail to act on your intuition or the red flags, that’s on you.
These habits did not happen overnight.
They have been nurtured in you.
But that does not mean you cannot change them by replacing them in baby steps.
To do that, you must learn to recognise: when have you overly accommodated people?
When have you pleased others at the expense of your time, resources and wellbeing?
The more people ask of you and the more you give, there will come times when there is nothing left to give — not even for yourself.
Sometimes, only then do you realise that you have been overly pleasing people.
Start with small steps of saying NO.
By simply telling people you are not free, you are not available, or you already have something on.
Stick to your schedule and mean it as if your life depends on it — even if the schedule is just a coffee alone for yourself.
Do not let it slide.
Then slowly move on to bigger requests.
Maybe your boss asks you to take on a project you cannot handle because your schedule is full. Or perhaps you can negotiate which tasks need reprioritising.
Often, it’s all about how you convey and communicate your intention; that’s where people mostly fall short.
Practise it step by step.
Do not ignore the small requests, because that is how new habits form.
You cannot change overnight, but you can change slowly, one day at a time.
Importantly, what consequences are you willing to accept if you do not learn to draw your boundaries firmly?
The last question will motivate you to start forming new habits and to draw that boundary for YOU.
Good morning/good evening, my dear readers 🫂☺️
#asknostr #gm #nostr #grownostr #plebchain
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Replies (2)
GM 🌞
learning to say NO is so hard. some people are good with boundaries, others like myself are not. i want to help at a moment’s notice. i dont believe in sacrifice, just choices. but sometimes i feel like i say yes a little too often to the point of exhaustion.