You can't communicate with a server without having its address.
You might be able to discover the address via another route that isn't traditional DNS (pigeon comes to mind. Or Nostr), but you ultimately need the IP to connect to it.
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Of course you can communicate with a server without having it's address!
In the same way that I'm communicating with you without knowing your address: using a #nostr relay to deposit and get the notes.
Sure, if two parties rely on a third party to act as a sort of proxy to hold messages for them, then both parties can just connect to the proxy.
That is a form of "communication", but it's indirect. I was talking about making direct connections, because that seemed to be the spirit of the OP