Of course you can communicate with a server without having it's address!
In the same way that I'm communicating with you without knowing your address: using a #nostr relay to deposit and get the notes.
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Sure, if two parties rely on a third party to act as a sort of proxy to hold messages for them, then both parties can just connect to the proxy.
That is a form of "communication", but it's indirect. I was talking about making direct connections, because that seemed to be the spirit of the OP
Exactly, that's what a #nostr relay is for.
And the spirit of the OP (cc. @calle) is about communicating using a relay knowing just the npub, without needing a direct connection.
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