The chance of it working was already not 100% by then, but the key thing would have been convincing me it's OK for me to be happy and I'm not required to stay scared and depressed

And "forgetting all about her" wasn't accurate wording, I just mean shifting focus fully to another woman so I wouldn't secretly be wishing she was Digit anymore

Before I met Digit, I had been wishing I could make myself good enough for this other woman called Mad to talk to me. So 3 years ago I was pretty open to Digit just approving of that plan and telling me go back to focusing on Mad. It would have just been a little tricky for her to do counteract my fears about her cancer and get me to stop panicking enough to shift focus. But she's really good at psychological shit so it seems like she could have done that if she felt like it, instead of continuously making me as scared and desperate for more time with her as possible. I really hope the reason it went this way is because I could never be as useful to Mad as I am to Digit, just being someone to suffer with her from a distance and hopefully someday without the distance.

What is psychology?