i summon bkue eyes abyss dragon then have sex with it i end my turn

I know that people say black cat's aren't actually bad luck, and I agree with them! But you DO have to admit that it IS a little weird and creepy how black cats choose to nap in random shadows instead of beams of light like other cats do. Also, the way they sometimes stand up straight on their hind legs and just stare you is also a bit unsettling.

Whoever edited "Let's Get It Started" to say "let's get retarded" is a very funny person. My hat goes off to you, internet stranger!

I asked my therapist about it, and apparently hearing voices is actually very abnormal. Although I wanted a second opinion, so I asked the voice and he confirmed that no, my therapist was wrong. Hearing voices is actually perfectly normal and not a sign of an undiagnosed brain tumor. I don't know why the voice keeps bringing up brain tumors so often; it's actually really annoying and even a little creepy.

Respectfully officer, I disagree. My inability to walk in a straight line is NOT evidence of intoxication. It is actually just evidence of the dildo.

People always ask me: Scoundrel, why do you always work so hard? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Working yourself to death is a win-win scenario. Win 1: nobody will ever accuse you of being lazy. Win 2: you won't actually have to do any work because you will be dead.

I'm convinced everyone who uses the phrase "do-gooder" is terrible at grammer. Why not do better?

Just tried a little bit of recreational meth, and MAN have I been so productive since then! I had no idea this entire time that sleep was actually completely optional for human beings! Fun fact: did you know that the reason people sleep is because they are weak willed?

Gay chicken is the game where two straight males pretend to be gay, and the first one to cum loses.

Could I get your guys' opinion on something? Is there something wrong with an ablebodied person using a handicap bathroom stall? Like, I understand handicap spaces in parking lots. Handicap people can't walk as far and so they need to park closer. But the handicap bathroom stall is just meant to be bigger in order to accomadate someone who needs more space. That's it. Like, does being handicap mean that you are going to suddenly shit yourself if you have to wait a few more minutes to do your business? No! Of course not! All it means in this case is that you are weaker and more defenseless. It shouldn't be seen as strange for a handicap person to lose the battle against an ablebodied person. Listen, you can easily afford to wait there crawling on the ground for a few minutes while I use the stall ahead of you. Honestly I would let you keep your wheelchair if you just let me cut ahead of you instead of trying to go into the stall when I told you not to. I'll give you back uour wheelchair after I'm done.