Submission in marriage goes in both directions, but I wanted to write about the submission of wives because I see women have more doubts regarding this matter. Husbands are supposed to love their wives and sacrifice even their own lives for them if necessary. I am sure there are cowards and others who would say that under no circumstances they would give their lives for their wives, but I think that when the time comes, most men do what they must do. Men are told to love their wives, while wives are told to respect their husbands.
Perhaps I interpreted your post incorrectly, I was under the impression it was exclusively discussing the biblical reference to women submitting to their husbands, which I dont think includes any mention of husbands submitting to their wives - both directions, as you say? They are to love them, and wives are to give respect.
Respect is entirely different from submission, though - especially over the duration of a marriage. Respect is foundational on both sides to any lasting relationship (and love is not a substitute for it). As far as men laying down their lives, I dont discount the protective role and it's disproportionate effect on men. Women giving up autonomy, though, is a strange concept which I dont think is nearly as natural to women as it is frequently supposed. I think it is a concession, a tolerated trade-off to compensate for bearing the brunt of child rearing and consequently being dependent / at a disadvantage economically for millenia, not some innate desire to let someone else steer your life. Given the options, it seems obviously more appealing to be a genuine partner with someone on reasonably equal footing, at least when it comes to major decisions. Men have different needs than women, and I can understand the disproportionate need for male protectiveness and provider-contributions to be acknowledged and appreciated by the female partner, but lifelong submission, always being the subordinate in your own life by default... that sounds like a deal only a person with their back against a wall would take.
