Perhaps I interpreted your post incorrectly, I was under the impression it was exclusively discussing the biblical reference to women submitting to their husbands, which I dont think includes any mention of husbands submitting to their wives - both directions, as you say? They are to love them, and wives are to give respect. Respect is entirely different from submission, though - especially over the duration of a marriage. Respect is foundational on both sides to any lasting relationship (and love is not a substitute for it). As far as men laying down their lives, I dont discount the protective role and it's disproportionate effect on men. Women giving up autonomy, though, is a strange concept which I dont think is nearly as natural to women as it is frequently supposed. I think it is a concession, a tolerated trade-off to compensate for bearing the brunt of child rearing and consequently being dependent / at a disadvantage economically for millenia, not some innate desire to let someone else steer your life. Given the options, it seems obviously more appealing to be a genuine partner with someone on reasonably equal footing, at least when it comes to major decisions. Men have different needs than women, and I can understand the disproportionate need for male protectiveness and provider-contributions to be acknowledged and appreciated by the female partner, but lifelong submission, always being the subordinate in your own life by default... that sounds like a deal only a person with their back against a wall would take.

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You were right, my post was discussing the biblical reference exclusively. The problem is that inadvertently I removed the context and without context whatever one says is confusing and can be misinterpreted. About the topic of Christian spouses, the Bible starts by saying: > Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Then everything that comes after must be interpreted with that starting commandment in mind. This commandment is in turn part of a greater context: > Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Because husband and wife are one, mutual submission is a congruent concept. However, a husband is not a wife and a wife is not a husband because they are not equal. That is why they have been called to have different "roles" in the family, which means that they have different "rights" and "obligations." (using political jargon here is wrong but it can be useful) But again, submission is not subjugation. A person with their back against a wall is not free to choose, and therefore it can never be submission but subjugation. Wives are called to submit to their husbands. The core issue is that Christian marriage is not about autonomy or equality, which would lead to democratic decision-making in the family, seeking agreements and negotiations in the pursuit of equilibrium when not confrontation, tolerating some trade-offs in compensation for other concessions, etc. Christian marriage is about family and how we orient it to God. We do it by submitting to a hierarchy where children obey parents, both parents are one, mother is the body of the family, father is head, and God is above.