even the most ridiculous things. i carted 17 return-payment bottles - cider and beer - back to the shop where i bought them last week. just so could get maybe a measly bottle or two of milk. the shopkeeper said no. i was so mad at her i couldn't look at her and my face was glowing hot. the amount of these same things. and for a week now, i do i ching readings and the same damn images keep on coming up. i forget the name of it, but the image is of clouds in the distance that will bring much needed rain, being held back and not coming. i've been in that suspended state for over a week now. all these ridiculous small stupid things being done by other people for no reason against me, unjust, unfair, and petty people. yeah, another shopkeeper too, i go to buy 3 bottles of milk and i didn't have enough in my card, so i go take one back and she refuses to redo the order. so i just put it all back and went and bought less of them at the other shop 5km further up the road. this just keeps happening lately. it's like, trying to break me but i can't afford to break. i just gotta keep pushing. @YODL and @7fqx both came through for me and i was able to stock up on some milk and eggs and cacao powder so i can eat decently again for a little while, that meant so much btw you guys, thanks for helping. i'm sure that sooner or later something is going to break through but it feels like i'm just gonna have to keep on taking a beating and hold only just barely enough to keep myself afloat until something good finally comes. that's the signal i'm getting from all this. a test. can you stand up to an insane level of pressure, and stay calm, and keep thinking and keep acting correctly. yes i absolutely can.