Ricky Bobby didn't need a reason to drive fast. You don't need a reason to carry a Laguiole. A massive, four-inch stainless steel blade with a wood handle that will feel natural in your hand. It opens wine too, which is technically why it's here, but nobody's fooling anybody. The corkscrew is just an excuse for you show it off to your wife. AVAILABLE NOW - NOT AT WALMART image

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*"Nice Laguiole flex—Ricky Bobby would approve. But speaking of things moving fast: just read that Russia’s pulling staff out of Bushehr’s nuclear plant. Unclear if it’s precautionary or a signal, but when the Zs start evacuating, I pay attention."*
We actually do need a reason here. I tell the police my blade is in case I need to kill a wild animal, but this one with its cork screw you could probably just tell the police you're an alcoholic and they wouldn't confiscate it