I have no regrets about dating a while (7-ish years), we were young and dumb. I have no regrets waiting almost 7 years to have a kid after we were married. I grew up with the man I married, we knew each other for 8 years before we got together but I knew I wanted to marry him when I first saw him. We have an amazing relationship with each other and we have an amazing relationship with our kid, when we're empty nesters we will know what to do with each other unlike our parents (and many of our friends' retiree parents) who can't stand each other because they jumped in to marriage and children without having a relationship with each other. This is what worked for my husband and me, there is no right or wrong way to begin a family.

Dating takes as long as it takes. But there is a time limit of course. And your statement is a little contridictory... You just got done explaining a wrong way to start a family with your friend example 😂 You are right that you shouldn't rush into marriage. Happens way too often now, which is part of the reason for the high divorce rate. Personally I think the consequences of divorce should be waaay higher or even illegal. (Excluding adultry and abuse of course) We should discourage getting divorced to the maximum extent. If there's a possibility thing just don't work out in the future then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.

Fwiw I don't regret having kids when we did. But I do wish we had started sooner.

I think you may have misunderstood my statement. The husband's parents, my parents, and our friends' parents are from a generation where you had a courtship (dating), got married, and had kids within a year of marriage. There was no time for them to get used to being married before they had kids, I think that is an important step for a marriage. Now that we're all grown and have kids of our own, all of our parents are miserable with each other because they realized after the fact that they don't really like being married to each other. So I chose the way I did to go slow with the marriage and starting a family as to not end up the same way. I guess I could just shorten all this down to what's right for you isn't right for everyone and to encourage people to rush doesn't help anyone they have to decide what's right for themselves. As I said in a comment last night opinions and assholes, everybody has them 😁.

That is great for you, but I'm happy that I waited. 💜

They should have never gotten married... I'm not encouraging rushing anything. If you're not ready to have kids, you're not ready to get married. Which would be the whole argument against premarital sex.

The whole purpose of dating would be to make sure you want to marry someone. You don't "get used" to being married. What you're suggesting is that some people would get married, realize they don't like each other, and then get divorced. In which case they should've never have gotten married in the first place.

I agree with this wholeheartedly, if I'd had a kid sooner I'd have had a kid sooner lol. I'll go so far as to say that if you're having sex, you should be planning on having a kid, preventive measures are not 100%. And it is a conundrum, if they'd have never gotten married I wouldn't exist but they'd be happier people...that's a therapy sessio; for another day 😉

In my late 40's now. Currently single. I'm not sure kids are on the menu anymore (unless a Missus Right comes as a +kids package)

YOU SHOULDN'T EXIST! 😂 Im joking of course. I'm glad you made it into the timeline with us.

But the pressure to get married is high. And I'm sorry but taking two individual lives and combining them into one does take getting used to.

😒 big sads

The best description I heard was that you're like two rocks trying to fit together and you have to wear the rough edges and sharp points that don't quite fit together down over time to fit together. My paraphrasing is awful, I know but it's about being pieces of the whole and that's what we're all aiming for.

so so accurate ❤️

Sure it does, but you already made the commitment to do it. Commitment should mean something. Gotta get used to having kids to. Getting used to things is just your entire life.

I feel for you. Do you have any other family. Be the best uncle you can be at this point.

I think that you and I agree on this, we just use different words to express our thoughts and I like to move slow 🫂💜😂.

That's what makes the whole process beautiful.

Errbody different. Stay weird. I promise I will. 🤙🏻

Lol, nooooo you're supposed to be mad and rage quit or maybe I am. I'm unsure of the policy for talking back and forth with internet people about our feelings. Thanks for the conversation 🫂💜