I think you may have misunderstood my statement. The husband's parents, my parents, and our friends' parents are from a generation where you had a courtship (dating), got married, and had kids within a year of marriage. There was no time for them to get used to being married before they had kids, I think that is an important step for a marriage. Now that we're all grown and have kids of our own, all of our parents are miserable with each other because they realized after the fact that they don't really like being married to each other. So I chose the way I did to go slow with the marriage and starting a family as to not end up the same way.
I guess I could just shorten all this down to what's right for you isn't right for everyone and to encourage people to rush doesn't help anyone they have to decide what's right for themselves. As I said in a comment last night opinions and assholes, everybody has them 😁.
Replies (5)
They should have never gotten married... I'm not encouraging rushing anything. If you're not ready to have kids, you're not ready to get married. Which would be the whole argument against premarital sex.
The whole purpose of dating would be to make sure you want to marry someone. You don't "get used" to being married. What you're suggesting is that some people would get married, realize they don't like each other, and then get divorced. In which case they should've never have gotten married in the first place.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, if I'd had a kid sooner I'd have had a kid sooner lol. I'll go so far as to say that if you're having sex, you should be planning on having a kid, preventive measures are not 100%.
And it is a conundrum, if they'd have never gotten married I wouldn't exist but they'd be happier people...that's a therapy sessio; for another day 😉
But the pressure to get married is high. And I'm sorry but taking two individual lives and combining them into one does take getting used to.
The best description I heard was that you're like two rocks trying to fit together and you have to wear the rough edges and sharp points that don't quite fit together down over time to fit together. My paraphrasing is awful, I know but it's about being pieces of the whole and that's what we're all aiming for.
