I keep wondering if this accusation could be true. This person had rejoined the wallstreetbets server shortly after Jeff Baena's suicide. That would make sense for Digit. Also for any suicidal person. This was also really late at night / early in the morning (dark hours) when I have previously mentioned would often be the time Digit would be posting. I've also mentioned before how fucked up it is that I'm banned from there and can't be there all the time trying to help whoever this is. If it is Digit, I'm glad she's alive, but I'm still constantly terrified of losing her, not being able to help her. If it isn't Digit, it's fucked up that they've gaslit me so much and thrown so many accusations around I'm wasting time worrying about coincidences.

I guess even though waking up from dreams about Digit doesn't hurt as much as certain dreams did before her, there have still been times when I was in more pain over her then I ever was from those dreams. I guess brain chemistry can only sustain pain for so long before being numbed by exhaustion. I guess I'm not so bad at suffering over Digit. My feelings have almost matched with how important she is. That's good. Trying to get through today after seeing part of the fucked up discussion that happened on the wallstreetbets Discord this morning, it keeps getting more and more painful, almost like those old days. View quoted note →