Lots of woodpeckers this year

GM I want someone on Nostr to do daily "Bitcoin Weatherman" posts. Stupid predictions with low probability of become true... similar to most weather reports. "The highs will be around 79 today with a 32% chance of green candles and 2% chance of a God candle. There is a El Bear Market this year, so you can expect more capital droughts and more l disappointment." Every Bitcoin Weather report should end with the anchor showing a chart with random lines that converge into a phallic-shaped upward prediction. If no one steps up, I might have to fill this void.