I knew I was going to love being a dad. After all, everyone and their mother (literally) tells you how much you're going to love it once your wife gets pregnant. You hear more cliches about fatherhood than you ever knew existed. You hear, time and time again, that "you won't REALLY understand until you hold your child for the first time."
After a while you think "yeah... okay... I get it already."
But you don't. Not at all. You can't possibly know. It is quite literally impossible to understand until that moment. You *think* you know. You *think* you understand how it will change you. But you have no idea.
Becoming a father is a singular moment in which your entire world changes. A light switch flips on, then that light switch is ripped out of the wall. You can't turn it off. Ever.
Every cliche is true. Everyone who told you "you won't REALLY understand until you hold your child for the first time" was right. They were so right... They were more right than you could have possibly imagined.
Everything changes. It changes in ways you cannot possibly understand until you are in that singular moment.
Sure, any logical person with an IQ above 100 can imagine the *logistical* ways in which your life will change (but even then we mostly underestimate). But absolutely no one can understand the feeling of becoming a father until you actually become one.
Becoming a father made me want to be a better man. To become the man I am supposed to be. The best man I can be. The man I need to be. The man I am meant to become. In fact, it necessitates that I do so. I have no other option. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Becoming a father made me want to be a better husband as well. For my amazing wife, of course, but also so my son will be able to look to me and see an example of what a good husband should be.
Becoming a father also made me truly understand time preference. I thought I understood time preference before, but I didn't. My understanding was purely academic. It was theoretical. A philosophical exercise at best.
Sure, I could talk about "thinking in generations," but the moment next generation of my blood actually stood before me, I realized I didn't understand true long-term thinking at all before. In that moment, I finally did. I will die. So will you. So will everyone. What legacy will we leave for our children? What world will they inherit? How will we make it a better one than the world that was left to us?
It's a Saturday night and I'm rambling. But I felt the need to write this. I had a great day with my son and wife. Any day I spend with them is a great day, but some days the totality of being washes over you more than others.
I love being a dad. I know it may not be for everyone and that's okay. It's for me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
