I remember liking Darkman (1990) as a kid. Gave it a rewatch recently and holy shit, what a rotten pile of garbage!
Right off the bat, the guy gets some rare experimental treatment that makes him immune to pain. How fucking convenient, huh? The plot is ridiculously childish, full of holes big enough to drive a truck through.
You’ve got this nerdy-ass scientist suddenly turning into a fist-fighting badass, knocking dudes out like he's Mike fucking Tyson, then casually hanging off a flying helicopter like it’s just another Tuesday. Yeah, I spoiled a few parts, but who cares? I’m doing you a damn favor. This movie sucks and the less time you waste on it, the better.
Sure, you can expect some rough edges with special effects from the early ’90s. Not every movie can pull a Robocop. (That shit still holds up and it was made three years earlier.) But Darkman? You’ve got glaring blue screen outlines not just in action scenes, but even when characters are just looking out a goddamn window. Seriously, how do you fuck up something that basic?
I’ll admit, there were a couple of moments that still hit. Like when he rebuilds his lab, rigs up his half-burnt computer and starts over. That scene had a spark: rising from the ashes, the will to start again. That part spoke to me.
But outside of that? Frame by frame, this film is straight-up shit.
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