Mine got so much worse - in my head. Such a steep learning curve full of insomnia, neurosis, parental regression and panic attacks with heart rate hitting 215 for 15 minutes even few times a day. Then I found out it was really in my head, because my parents kinda suck big time, I just melted down with babies and went through a LOT of own shit in extremely short time while being constantly extremely busy. Parenting can kill you. It's ok to hate it for a bit. It's bloody difficult and you feel no shame for not worshipping the nonstop care like instagram and homeschool parents do. But once you're ok with recieving the biggest love of your life, absolutely pure feeling from another being, unconditional and so fragile, you'll skyrocket and neve go back down. Let your own shit go and just accept your child unconditionally. I promise it'll be extremely hard and rewarding many times that much.