that's the only really problem but the bigger problem is that EVEN IF I HAVE ONLY ONE RELAY I CANT GET ANY DATA CONSISTENCY GUARANTEES AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS
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sorry my caps button odelled out on me
Nostr will never give you thay guarantee by design. If that was the case, relays could start threads with a secret post and no one could respond without writing access that relay. Effectively censorship.
Puts pkarr homeservers in a different light, doesn't it?