a database works because its a single source of truth. what happens when you successfully publish to two relays from two clients without awareness of each other (which with any network flakiness will constantly happen)
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that's the only really problem but the bigger problem is that EVEN IF I HAVE ONLY ONE RELAY I CANT GET ANY DATA CONSISTENCY GUARANTEES AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS
sorry my caps button odelled out on me
Nostr will never give you thay guarantee by design. If that was the case, relays could start threads with a secret post and no one could respond without writing access that relay. Effectively censorship.