you should not be using relays without due care and consideration they are NOT dumb replicas, no matter what certain people try to say about them. they are very much critical to any mechanism protecting privacy because it's a RELAY protocol. you can only get around this by use of peer to peer protocols, which throws the baby out with the bath water. so, yeah, there should be more effort aimed at "secret shopper" verifying the implementations of relays are not obviously violating the spec and possibly therefore your privacy. a check for privilege verification would be very easy to implement. "does this relay send this DM to subscribers without them being authed/authed to different npub not in the message?"