"it can't be done" is a red flag for an inventor, which you are not.
all i'm hearing from you is "this other bunch of people said this and i'm too stupid to think any more about it because they save me from the pain". pathetic.
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Here's what I'm assuming is the end-game you're picturing.
-All clients converge on this one DM standard over time
-Other standards effectively get weeded out, not to be seen again
-When someone on nostr says "send me a DM" it's always gets sent this one way, and this one way always works.
Or are you picturing there always being competing and non-interoperable DM standards? A sort of ice cream buffet, choose what you like?