don't worry, I also see problems with clients, but that is the detail, since there are few people who are doing it, clients do not have many resources or the necessary equipment to create something that is as stable as YouTube, Facebook or any company-funded page, so refining clients will be slow
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They could... We could. ActivityPub folks did it with as little or even less resources than Nostr, and their protocol was just as bad in the early days, constantly self DDOising. Nostr is at what, 10k to 20k active daily users? Peaks of a few dozen kind 1 notes per second maybe? If the underlying architecture was sound this wouldn't be resource intensive and hard to serve at all.
I could even argue that ActivityPub architecture is much more complex than a bunch of signed json payloads over websockets. If it can scale so does Nostr. The difference, other than time, is that tbey have a more mature and diverse community of FOSS devs there. Also, there isn't an overly dominant community there like the BTC folks on Nostr. I feel like a lot of folks here want it to remain a tiny BTC Twitter bubble.