Thread

Yes … cause With one gaze it was as if he pierced me into a kaleidoscope of shattered dreams. Everything I once held sacred would be destroyed by him. Maybe one day I should thank him. Nothing felt different initially. All was good for a night. Friendship was lovely. Our bodies entangled in primal level savagery. Bliss. Years later, I see his eyes looking back at me. His smile. Something seared in a way that my mind never imagined. Yet that memory … Yet so many more … but it had been so many passenger pigeons lost in translations hence. Are they messenger or are they mourning pigeons? Memories fade. But there are some cosmic connections that remain. Can eyes that are nuclear weapons ever be tamed? Should they? I’d argue they offer balance & justice sometimes. Two people who believed everything can be fixed by compartmentalizations may have just been ignorant or sacred. Idealistic thinking. Justification for the pain. What if We both lied by omission? Fearing we would destroy the other. It’s all the same in the end. But whatever it was … it was love. Even if only for a lifetime. This is the life of being a romantic. Never quite finding the words to describe humanity. Constantly bleeding out. Until death and birth. Again. A gain.

When one is wartorn the only vision that remains is whats left from the scorn. Time may pass & feelings may be reborn but in history it becomes rooted as a period to mourn. Not for the loss but for the endurance of it all sacrificing respect & more. Feeling torn between the time spent, struts built, & bridges crossed acknowledging all the adversity was for is now lost. Because the time cannot be reclaimed & I lost my way the things I use to love doing is now everything I want to toss away. Whether it's love, hatred, or insane all the things I enjoyed before & after no longer affect me in any way. So I walk this path alone on my own because I have no feeling of ease or a place to call home. What I want seems irrelevant the universe makes it appear so. Journey my journey is surviving whats left of this hell hole until the end or I am full circle with someone & built a home.