the irony is that "opsec" is deeply embedded in the "cypherpunk" culture of nostr and selfies and showing your real life are done at a cost you make a lot of noise about when you do it. people don't realise that modern norms about social media amount to a kind of public confession ritual and if you want to look into why that's a problem a whole world will open up before your eyes. nostr is not shaped by an algorithm in the same way as most single private company social media are. it's not funded by advertising driven by the gathering of all that self-confession information and nobody, almost nobody, at least, is getting paid to put anything on nostr. confusing nostr for siloed, monetised social media data gathering and public opinion shaping is the problem here. this isn't "social media" this is a bunch of people who want to talk to real people instead of a machine-sculpted sugar coated version of reality. i don't know if there is any gender differentiators involved in this but the same gender imbalance exists in engineering, manual labor, military and security. it is probably true that it's more dangerous to be a woman on nostr because you aren't being chaperoned by The Algorithm.

You have to remember that a lot of the guys on here are nomads, or living in self-imposed exile on a mountaintop or in the backwoods, or think the NSA is gonna take notes on what they had for dinner last night so that it can reverse-engineer their private keys. I arrived here, years ago, and it was actually way more anon and paranoid. We do groups and meetups and conference calls and stuff, now, but before it was like 🫣

> You make it sound as though women’s willingness to be on a social network depends on how much validation or attention they receive. If that were true, women would flock to male-dominated Nostr. I am very grateful that Nostr has de-bachelorified enough that you don't realize I meant that women were being aggressively hounded out and now we're tolerated and treated like we're almost human. 😂 There used to be a very loud-n-proud "girls are stupid, throw rocks at them" crowd, but they're less active, now.

What do you mean - I throw rocks at you all the time! Need to work on my aim, it seems. Grumble grumble

Pfft. I'm not a good example. I'm a paranoid idiot. I actively prevent my likeness from being disseminated as much as I can. I know that everything sent via the nostr protocol is logged at some point. Given the power of immutable digital identity and attestation, I understand that there is no delete button in any appreciable manner. And, I think my words are usually enough to convey my thoughts and what pictures I take that I post are generally pleasant things that I wouldn't mind sharing with pretty much anyone. My memes are occasionally spicy and nearly always stolen, because memes are about the only proper commie property there is. You share what you want and don't share what you don't want. I'm not choosing to live this way out of fear. I'm not afraid of what might happen if someone sees my face. I am just selectively, intentionally reducing my digital fingerprint and eventually I may only be reached by analog means and then only by showing up in person, if you're privileged enough to know my probable location. For me, it works. If that doesn't work for you, that's totally ok, too. The issue of women on nostr is another matter entirely. There's a large subset of whores (I don't mince words since I find it to be very correct by definition and implication and conation) who ply their trade, but many of them find it hard to earn a living on a protocol that doesn't artificially boost them in rankings and doesn't even offer an executive way to pay for views, and since they are mostly vapid, shallow people, the current vast majority of regulars on nostr find them at most passingly titillating and at worst blockable for being boring, neither of which helps them make money for pictures of their feet or butthole or whatever is the "sexy part du jour." I just hope they all meet Jesus and make the world a better place. (But I'm not buying what they are selling. 😤) Then you're left with the rest of the women who stick around. Many are married/attaxhed to other nostriches. The rest are here on their own and we are generally better for them since they (and I'd include you in this group, El) are interesting, intelligent, curious, and intriguing humans in their own right. I'm up super late after a really long week with a lot of rollercoasters culminating with two heavy and very long conversations with two people who have had very different crisis hit them and I am the one who is the designated listener and discusser at this time. I don't have a point at this point. I just urge a bit of caution, but you know because I've told you that things are forever into they are not on nostr. You're still in the process of finding your weird. That's ok, too. You've already got a variety of responses from some of the most interesting people on nostr (IMO). I'm going to shut up now and attempt to sleep when though my brain is buzzing from so much information and processing. Goodnight, I hope.

your lack of faith in privacy is disturbing (tm)