Fuck Gary with a pineapple.
SECURITIES and Exchange Commission has minimal authority over non-securities.
“Non-securities may fall under its jurisdiction if they are part of a securities transaction or if they are part of a company's assets that are publicly traded. Additionally, the SEC has authority over investment advisors, broker-dealers, and mutual funds, which may involve non-security assets.” -Dolphin 72B LLM
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Im pretty sure the SEC could call your mom a security if it wanted to, though there may be precedent with dropping the ETH investigation


Consensys
SEC Closes Ethereum 2.0 Investigation, Will Not Pursue Ethereum Enforcement Action | Consensys
Today, the Enforcement Division of the SEC notified us that it is closing its investigation into Ethereum 2.0 without charges against Consensys.