Yes, 100% Hole punch seem to be doing a fantastic job.
Don't get me wrong, Nostr are also doing a fantastic job, it's the halfway house solution.
Not sure what the incentives are to running a relay, can anyone help me understand.
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There are no incentives to run a relay other than wanting to be helpful.
You are 100% on the money. Bitcoin started where every wallet was a node. The Electrum server/client model brought many to the space, but the financial incentives was bitcoin. Nostr cannot succeed without each client as a relay because ultimately there is no financial incentive to operate one. Private and secure bitcoin transaction use was an incentive to run a node. There is nothing for nostr...and it is much more costly. Any device working on this?