Lyn, There are a lot of truly terrible answers here. Reading your •actual• question in its •actual• entirety as it was •actually• written leads us to a very different place than whoever recommended an AR-15 thought we were going. Also, whoever recommended your non- gun enthusiast wife pick up a 10mm was either trolling, didn’t read your question, or isn’t aware the FBI stopped using it because it was too powerful for many of its big strong professional agents to handle. Please be cautious. So, since you specifically asked ONLY about (1) home defense for (2) the non- enthusiast, I am going to offer my sincere advice for those criteria. My answers for (1) preppers and (2) carry would be quite different and more demanding, but for non- enthusiast- wife- home- defense, here we go… 1. Revolvers are the tools of beginners and experts. This is why Jerry Miculek did not set any of his records with semi-autos. (Because semi-autos simply cannot keep up with Jerry Miculek. Only revolvers can.) 2. Semi-autos are for the middle range of adequate to accomplished shooters. Thus… 3. I recommend you (or anyone) should go to a range and rent various revolvers until you find one you can actually shoot accurately. If people were robots, that would be the most important thing. But people are not robots, so it ends up instead being the second most important thing. The most important thing is that you actually •enjoy• shooting it. You simply must •like• shooting it, or you will never practice enough to become competent. 4. To make practice easier, cheaper, and more fun (so you will actually go to the range) I recommend you also get a.22lr revolver. Stance, grip, sights, trigger… almost everything you practice with a .22 will map over to larger calibers. Recoil control, of course, is its own separate thing, and will have to be practiced with your chosen defensive caliber after you have developed the other skills mentioned. 5. All other things being equal, bigger is always better… but things are not remotely equal, and shot placement trumps everything. Period. Caliber thus matters far far less than literally almost everyone (and their dog) will insist. What will actually matter is that your defensive round use a center-fire primer. THIS is the reason not to use a .22 for defense… NOT its small size. Because rimfire primers are less reliable. Use literally any center-fire caliber you (1) enjoy shooting with, and (2) shoot accurately with. Rimfire is for practice because it’s cheap, and occasionally doesn’t go bang when you want it to. Center-fire is for the real world. 6. .38 Special will probably be the cheapest, most plentiful, and most readily available revolver caliber in the U.S. into the foreseeable future. Practice costs money. Ammo shortages happen. 7. Stainless steel is low maintenance and wonderful. A SS revolver will need very little cleaning and maintenance compared to, well, almost any other firearm in existence. Place it wherever you want it to be (in a safe, behind some books on a bookshelf, in a toolbox, in your bedside table, etc.) leave it there, and when you suddenly and unexpected need it in a few years , it will be there and it will fire. 8. Adjustable sights are wonderful for target practice and competition; mandatory for sharp shooting. Rigid fixed sights physically carved out of the frame of the gun cannot slip or be knocked out of alignment, and are more than accurate enough for home defense. I recommend adjustable sights for toys and fixed sights for weapons. You are not sniping. 9. In many situations, but perhaps especially at home, over penetration is bad. Missing with a shotgun, because it’s a yard long and heavy, invites over penetration when you discover to your dismay that it really does go right through sheet rock despite the internet’s assurances to the contrary. Hitting with your .38 because it’s small, light, handy, and easy to wield in tight spaces solves your over penetration problem by burying the bullet in the torso of your uninvited guest. But if fear of over penetration haunts you to the point of interfering with your willingness to arm up, use Glaser Safety Slugs or another similar ammo. These replace the bullet with shot pellets. DRT makes ammo that uses bullets made of powdered metal. It disintegrates when it hits a hard target. Practice with cheap, solid “ball” ammo, then load these expensive alternatives when you get back home. 10. When you (or anyone) are comfortable enough with your skill at arms with the revolver, THEN it will be time to look at semi-autos. (Or when your needs change.) For the cool kids who hate my answers but didn’t bother to actually pay attention to the question, I will reiterate here that my answers for preppers, militia, concealed carriers, or other enthusiasts would be quite different, and much more demanding. Good luck, Lyn. DM me if you want to discuss in further detail.