The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar - Montaigne

Fair and foolish simultaneously! I’ll take it.

bota.org is what triggered my spiritual experiences. It's Christian mysticism but incorporates many teachings from the Gita. Check out "Spirit of the Upanishads," recommended in the coursework. https://www.yogebooks.com/english/atkinson/1907-01upanishads.pdf

Nice story. I’ve had some religious experiences, grew up in evangelistic churces. Turned to agnosticism when I realized my prayers were not being answered or acknowledged, and it’s not like I was praying for a lot of Bitcoin. More like that my ex wife would listen to me and stop abusing my son. Shit happens, and I learned that is there is a god, their character is not what I thought it is. That doesn’t prove that there is no “God” but if there is one, I’m not interested. If you are, more power to you.

I was an atheist until I met the Devil... It was a fat nurse with an N95 mask chasing my kids with a syringe. We are all sinners and have all been deceived.

For sure. "Close" is relative, anyway. Perhaps it's like a mathematical limit, there are many teachings that say God is unreachable. Yet it's a central concept of most religions is God's oneness with His creation.

TLDR; I think God exists, but traditional Christian beliefs are looking at the universe through a keyhole. However, other Godless religions miss out on the relational side of a humble, divine creator. I grew up a Southern Baptist preachers kid. And I have never seen everything the same way as my family or church people. I’ve gone to non denominational as well as Pentecostal for awhile. My wife got into essential oils, became a doula, and got into the body healing trapped emotions. I have gone to counseling and learned about internal family systems. And most recently, I gotten into Silva Mind Control Method. Also, Dune has been very influential book shaping how I view reality. There is definitely a way the universe and energy interconnects. It’s not simplified by any religion, but each religion picks up on pieces of it. Healing is possible, telepathy is possible, manifesting is possible. But on the contrary, evil is present and affects people who search for it. It preys on fear and inadequacy. Even if you don’t believe in God, there are ways in which the universe works and responds… even at a subatomic scale. And it is much more intelligent than we give it credit for. Starting from a believing in God perspective, it’s hard for me to get to a place where I don’t believe. I’ve tested any theory, questioned everything… and what I’ve come away with is that because “perfect” isn’t how we want things to be doesnt mean there is a some bigger picture that we only get a fraction of. I also subscribe to an all powerful God having nearly infinite universes of every kind you can and cant think of. Because… God.

TLDR; I think God exists, but traditional Christian beliefs are looking at the universe through a keyhole. However, other Godless religions miss out on the relational side of a humble, divine creator. I grew up a Southern Baptist preachers kid. And I have never seen everything the same way as my family or church people. I’ve gone to non denominational as well as Pentecostal for awhile. My wife got into essential oils, became a doula, and got into the body healing trapped emotions. I have gone to counseling and learned about internal family systems. And most recently, I gotten into Silva Mind Control Method. Also, Dune has been very influential book shaping how I view reality. There is definitely a way the universe and energy interconnects. It’s not simplified by any religion, but each religion picks up on pieces of it. Healing is possible, telepathy is possible, manifesting is possible. But on the contrary, evil is present and affects people who search for it. It preys on fear and inadequacy. Even if you don’t believe in God, there are ways in which the universe works and responds… even at a subatomic scale. And it is much more intelligent than we give it credit for. Starting from a believing in God perspective, it’s hard for me to get to a place where I don’t believe. I’ve tested any theory, questioned everything… and what I’ve come away with is that because “perfect” isn’t how we want things to be doesnt mean there is a some bigger picture that we only get a fraction of. I also subscribe to an all powerful God having nearly infinite universes of every kind you can and cant think of. Because… God.

Alan and Terrence McKenna have some divergent views on religion but are two of the most incredible, down to earth geniuses humanity has ever produced.. there are many paths to the big tree of true... enjoy walking whichever you find yourself traveling on, bc it is YOUR path, and it couldn't be any other way.

Had the experiences of oneness 3weeks ago, since then i felt much love for everything and have a light pressure in my third eye. Still figuring things out but i feel really good. The thing that started my understanding was the law of one series on youtube by aaron abke:

Being a Christian does not protect you from suffering. Even Christ's apostles were not spared from violent martyrdom. The character of God is such that he gave his only son, whom he loved, to die and pay for our sin. Sin is a cancer that afflicts us all. Don't think your experience is evidence that God is evil or callous. Just means there are people around you who have much to answer for..... who especially need Jesus for their sin is great.

I know many intelligent Christians who debate theology and apologetics from first principals. Some of my favorites are some of the Lutheran guys involved in the 1517 project. Being a Christian isn't about talking to Jesus and hearing voices in your head. It's about is the Bible true yes or no? Did this really happen? Did Christ really die and live again just to pay for my sin..... The Bible is a wonder, it's mere existence is a signal by itself.....

One does not have to believe in the infallibility of the Bible or that Jesus died just to pay for our sins to be a Christian.

Calloys or not all-powerful, one or the other. That this is all some sort of test is sadistic at best. Not my kind of way to live.

I say that is a false dichotomy. Didn't say it was all a test, just saying the world is fallen, evil still lingers and it devours us. Good news is that Jesus defeated it, that all broken things will be made right in the end. If God were sadistic he would endorse evil and conflate it with good as Satan does.

Well then you probably define Christianity differently than most would. What do you believe?

I believe that the Bible isn't infallible. All authorityi has been given to Jesus. Salvation is more about being saved from an old way of life into a new way of life than it is about the afterlife. Jesus didn't pay for our sins, he forgave our sins.

I agree that Jesus is the ultimate authority, but the Bible is how God reveals him will to us. The Gospel is the only way to discover who Jesus is and what he did. Are you worried that the Bible has been tampered with by humans to say something false? If so, there are intellectuals who study authenticity of the historical documents. Yes our sins are forgiven by Jesus, but because Jesus died in our place and rose again.

My concern is not that the Bible has been tampered with, but rather the human limitations and interpretations that could affect its accuracy. The authors would have tried to understand God but they aren't perfect. The intellectuals who study the authenticity of the historical documents are fallible. If you owe someone a debt, and that debt is paid by a third party, then that debt is never forgiven at all. God doesn't need someone to pay off debt to forgive. He can simply forgive. That's what true forgiveness is. There is no payment in forgiveness. If Jesus died in our place, then he would have suffered the punishment that comes as a result of sin, which is death (Romans 6:23). So he either died physically or spiritually. If he died physically so that we would not die physically, then why do people still suffer physically death? The other option is spiritual death which is likely the type of death Paul was talking about. Obviously Jesus didn't die spiritually. Therefore, he did not die in our place.

My path was nearly the same, minus being brought up Catholic. Alan Watts had a profound impact on me and helped me launch my own journey.

It sounds like we've had some similar mind expansion experiences. I found that faith only works when I lean into it. Any amount of resistance can get in the way of the connection. Alcohol also shuts off the spiritual wifi. The whole process for me was about suddender. Ultimately Buddhist concepts (releasing attachment, integrating shadow) are what caused me to open to Christ (during a deep psychedelic experience). It's been a wild ride, but I'm infinitely grateful. The primary key I had to start with was Christ ≠ Christianity 🙏