this is a central doctrinal issue in christianity. in american christian (protestant) there is a debate between "once saved always saved" and what is perjoratively called "works doctrines" which say that you are still human. well, i say that as a human, you can improve. we can always improve. i reject the idea that humans cannot shake off tyrants like we have on our backs now. it's a matter of everyone taking up their own cross and doing the hard work. maybe dying. i hate to say this but as a woman, you are supposed to be protected from that. so you also should understand that it tends to be women who persuade young men to not be vigilant and rigteous. i have met many many many men in my life who i considered to be righteous. the idea that you can't supersede that base state is toxic, and authoritarian. no, who says you can't and who gave them the authority to claim that? i do my best. i'm not perfect. sue me. fuck you.