The first boy's name I thought I loved was Michael Meeks (nickname Josh and same initials as my mother and Elon Musk's). I wrote a poem which was a change of words from a flashdance song or something:
Love is the eternal flame
Burning in the world's heart
Lobe is not to blame
For relationships falling apart
Love can be wonderful in every living thing
Love can be something i dont remeber, when it crumbles it stings
I dont remember the last line or two.
He was the best friend of my husband when i first saw him in intermediate school. I don't really like the saying about the meek shall inherit the earth.
He died of suicide after the craziness i described began. As I believe did a guy named Owl Corcoran, who sat next to me all through elementary school because his last name was one letter different than mine. This was after I asked him to help me with the Airbnb I had. He modeled in a men of Hawaii calendar one. He loved the band Tool. I heard from his stepfather that he had traveled to South America at some point and didn't come back the same way. He listened to Joe Rogan podcasts
I suspect both of them were pushed into it via technology.