Bitcoin’s consensus rules limit what you can do to your peers. You can’t do 1000 txs per second on-chain lol. You have a poor understanding of decentralization and trust-minimization — permissionless doesn’t mean lawless. Anyone can run a relay, and if a relay bans you - you can move your content elsewhere. That’s beautiful. If you don’t get it, sorry.
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Furthermore, bitcoin SPV proofs do require asking a “relay/full-node” for information you don’t have — as verifiable merkle branches. Bitcoin is not entirely P2P. Nostr may benefit from P2P eventually, but mastering the user-server model first is wise. All good things in due time.
You’re thinking in a client-server mode when you talk about permission. In a p2p infrastructure I don’t have to push my notes to any place. The audience will have to ask for the notes from the peer they’re requesting from. Being my own host I can publish as my wishes. Having my own private nostr server doesn’t fit the same requirements because it’s like an isolated island without any communication between the servers. It’s not a network (yet?)
merkle trees, and merkle dags, etc, also have the same topology as packet switched networks, and the data size requirement increase for the number of pieces exactly corresponds with the message count required for a message broadcast over a network.
it's simply not possible to make it scale without changing the propagataion strategy, in both cases.