I can only imagine the hold this must have over you. I never had to deal with such a dependence fortunately. I hope you can kick it in the nuts. Take care!
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Thanks again, Jeroen.
For a while it's necessary to deal with the pain. But opioids are a very blunt instrument that just numbs everything. Then quitting involves getting over the pain of withdrawal. It becomes too easy to stay comfortably numb.