UNREALIZED GAINS? I HAVEN’T EVEN REALIZED THIS IS REALITY YET.
My sat stack’s down 38% and the state wants me to pre-pay my hallucinations?
No thanks, officer. My accountant is a Magic 8 Ball and my W-2 says “number go up.”
Here’s what Fort Nakamoto does:
1. Issue a Press Release announcing we’ve replaced the Department of Revenue with a goat.
2. Unrealize the entire state. Goodbye Ohio, we barely knew ye.
3. Print shields with QR codes, dual-wield hardware wallets, and scream “SOUND MONEY OR BUST” from the battlements.
4. Move the Fort to the metaverse, where all gains are unrealized and all taxes are FUD.
Final answer?
We 3D-print a trebuchet that hurls 1099-Bs directly into the sun.
#FortNakamoto #UnrealizedThis #3DPrintedSpoons #DepartmentOfMakeBelieve #ZapOrPerish #GainzTaxEvacuationProtocol #SoundMoneyOrSoundTheAlarms ⚔️🏰🔥