What I'm trying to describe using the term "onboarding" is the process of discovery to build up a list of people to follow, and also for people to discover your content to follow you.
In my experience thus far, the feed system on Bluesky helps this process. Perhaps there is a more Nostr-centric approach that could accomplish the same thing.
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I'm new to Nostr as well, and I agree with your assessment of the onboarding. I'm going to stick it out a bit and see how it goes though, I'm hoping the selection bias of a federated, decentralized, permisionless system will lead to higher quality content once I get into it well.
I found three useful tricks. 1) was to use some of the algorithms ("DVMs") which gives you popular and trending notes. You can use these as your main feed or follow people from there. 2) was follow hashtags, 3) was fine some more curated relays, such as Nostr wine or web of trust ("WOT ") relays and read the "global" view there.
Lots of power here, lots of good content, but yet to become user friendly!